The first time a guy sees a vagina up close and personal is usually a momentous occasion—it’s the first time he sees the organ that a substantial amount of his life will revolve around.
When I first saw a vagina in the flesh, I was in school and the only vaginas I had seen before were photos in some old issues of Playboy my brother and I had found. But one day when I was at a friend’s party around the time I was 13, one of the guys convinced a girl to show us her lady business.
Related: The struggles of having a vagina
She was completely shaved, and I thought, “Oh my god, it looks like nothing I've ever seen before." The strangest thing about it was that I was very intrigued by it, and I wanted to look at it forever—though there wasn't anything that visually appealing about it. I still don't know why, really, but I'll stare at a vagina for hours on end if given the opportunity.
To see what went through other guys' minds the first time they saw a hoo-ha, I asked them to recount that magical moment.
“My older sister was having a slumber party, and I was given very specific instructions to make myself scarce. But she had a lot of cute girls over, and as an adolescent with a bunch of girls staying in my house for the entire night, I was determined to get some time in with them. My opportunity came when I heard them blasting my Oasis CD from my sister's room. I busted in there without knocking to say I wanted my CD back, and one of her friends turned around. She was naked except for a bra. The first thing I thought was, ‘Oh, my god! [Vaginas] look nothing at all like I pictured!’ Honestly, I pictured them as just a basic slit or slot. Like an unzipped change purse without the actual zipper, but there was more to it. There were lips and some stuff near the top of the slit that I would later discover was a clitoris.” Justin D.
“My first thought was like, ‘What the f**k am I supposed to do with that thing? Where do I even start?’” Evan Y.
“This is going to sound really weird and maybe bad, but my dad used to refer to vaginas as ‘axe wounds.’ I had no idea why until I actually saw one. When I did, I laughed a little bit and thought ‘Whoa! That is, like, a pretty clean slit. Now I get why he calls it that.’” Brad T.
“Ummm…how in the f**k does a BABY come out of there?” Clayton H
“Honestly, my first thought was that vaginas look very much like peaches. And after that, I realized why people were always referring to them that way." Jared S.
Related: The weird things guys say during sex
“I spent a lot of time looking at my own penis and thought about how weird it seemed. So when I saw my first vagina, it was kind of comforting. I was like, ‘Oh, vaginas are bizarre looking, too!’ There are folds and all that stuff. I felt better about how strange genitals are across the board—regardless of gender.” Zack R.
“My thoughts were of utter confusion. I was looking at this organ that was really mostly unremarkable and a little bit weird-looking. I was confused by how much I wanted to be in or around it. I didn’t understand then, and I still don’t. Hormones are so weird.” Andrew S.
Related: The right way to schedule sex
“The first time I saw a vagina, I was like ‘Oh my god, gross!’ I didn’t know why anyone would want to stick their fingers or penis inside of that. I guess I should also mention here that I'm gay. I didn’t know it at the time, but the first time I saw a vag probably put me on the fast track to figuring that out.” Mark P.
“My first thought was, 'Oh! Now I get why they call them clams!'” Carlos S.