Holidays can bring up every element of our past that we have with our families, positive and negative. Among the joy that holidays can bring, it can also bring to the surface feelings of resentment or frustration towards family members around things that may have happened in the past, that you may not have known you were still holding onto. The holidays are supposed to be a time to feel grateful for those around us, but we can also often get caught up in the idea that we should give more than we receive, and that in itself can be overwhelming.
Here are six ways to deal with these feelings:
1. Do one thing a day that nurtures you
Even if it’s just drinking coffee, just take the time to have a moment for you. You will find that you have more energy, more space for you and more gratitude for you and the people and things in your life.
2. Let go of judgement
When you are in a constant state of judgement, either of yourself or others, you are inducing feelings of disappointment, despair or anger. The people I know that are truly happy don’t judge themselves and they don’t judge others. If you could ponder the possibility of what it might be like to have a day without judgment of you or anyone else, there would be a constant supply of happiness and nothing would be able to take you from it.
3. Surround yourself with happy people
Make a list of 3 happy people you enjoy talking to and call them up when you need a boost. Seek out happy friends and don’t hang out with unhappy ones. If you have mostly surrounded yourself with unhappy people – get proactive. Try out new things and meet new people.
4. Be grateful
Increase your level of gratitude by starting a gratitude journal where you write at least three things a day that you’re grateful for about you, and three things you’re grateful for about your life and the people in it. When gratitude and judgment do not exist in the same space, you have more happiness - a simple gratitude journal can begin to create that.
5. Ask “who does this belong to” to every thought and emotion you have that’s not positive
If your world lightens up, those thoughts and feelings were never yours to begin with, and you should return it to sender.
6. Ask “how does it get any better than this?”
For every good situation that occurs and every bad situation. It’ll make a bad situation better and a good situation even better.
Dain Heer is a bestselling author, entrepreneur and internationally renowned speaker. He is co-creator and leading facilitator of Access Consciousness, a personal development modality.