It's 2017 and, friends, times are stressful. While stress is a natural occurrence in our daily lives, too much of it can wreak havoc, making us tense, exhausted, and, um, orgasm-less. "Women are often guilty of saying, 'I'm fine, everything's fine!' but left wondering why they can't climax," says sexologist Megan Stubbs, Yep, you read that right—stress will create a huge mental block between you and your grand finale.
But don't worry, there's plenty you can do to tune out the noise. First, focus on what feels good, says Stubbs. Maybe that means playing relaxing music or lighting candles. But most importantly, it means you'll want to take things slow. A quickie is great, but this isn't the time for that, says Stubbs. In order to reduce stress and get those feel-good hormones switching on, you'll want to spend a lot of time connecting through slow and tender physical touch. So if you're looking to "bang one out," you might want to save that for your morning run.
The positions you're choosing matter, too. Here are Stubbs' top picks for sex moves that will zap stress while also delivering the big O:
MAN'S BEST FRIEND
How to do it: Get on all fours. He kneels behind you and enters from behind.
Why it works: Sometimes the best way to destress is to relinquish control, says Stubbs. From here, your partner is completely in charge, leaving you to do nothing but sit back and enjoy the ride.
How to do it: Both of you lie on your sides, facing the same direction. You bring your knees up slightly while he slides up behind your pelvis and enters you from behind.
Why it works: This is a great example of how physical touch can release endorphins and calm your nerves, says Stubbs. Since this position involves a lot of skin-on-skin contact, you'll be feeling at ease in no time. Plus, laying side by side is less strenuous for your partner as well.
How to do it: Lie facedown on the bed, legs straight, hips slightly raised.
Why it works: Similar to doggy, here you're relinquishing control, says Stubbs. The bonus with this move is that if you've had a particularly exhausting day and are feeling tightly wound, laying facedown requires zero effort on your part. Maybe this is a good time to practice some deep breathing exercises?
STAND AND DELIVER
How to do it: With both of you standing, you bend over at the waist and he enters you from behind.
Why it works: You can walk through the door from work and be in this position in under five minutes flat. This is great for when you need instant relief, says Stubbs. Try this while holding onto the kitchen counter.
How to do it: Lie on your back while he straddles you. He then inserts his penis through the tight opening created by your semi-closed legs.
Why it works: This is what we call coital alignment technique, says Stubbs. It's a variation on missionary position where his erection is used to give your clit extra stimulation. Extra attention there means a bigger orgasm for you and, let's face it, it's nearly impossible to be stressed in O-town. Plus all that skin-on-skin contact and face time is bound to get your happy juices flowing.
This article originally appeared on Women's Health.