#TalkAboutTrying Is Helping Women Share Their Fertility Struggles

The #TalkAboutTrying Hashtag Is Helping Women Open Up About Fertility Struggles

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It’s estimated that around one in six couples struggle to fall pregnant naturally and despite the prevalence of this experience, it can often feel like a desperately lonely one.

That’s why US-based non-profit organisation, RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, has started the #TalkAboutTrying hashtag on social media. They’re encouraging people to open up about their challenges to conceive to raise awareness about infertility.

Here are some of the stories that have been shared so far...

Infertile_Myrtle on Twitter

Michelle Hernandez on Twitter

Christy Stone on Twitter

The time is now to #TalkAboutTrying - We were (trying to conceive) #TTC for 14 years. We had 7 losses and no living children during this time. Every single day I tried. I tried to research my way out of #infertility. I tried to reason my way out of #PCOS. I tried to diet my way out of #depression. I tried so much... to be... To. Be. Every. Single. Day. Each day was just my trying to get to the next without giving up. To push the pain of #fertilitytreatments, to smile despite the rage, to convince my friend and family that it would all be fine while being terrified it would not be... trying to be #brave was the worst. No. #Hope was the worst. Then one day we stopped. I don't even know when. I just stopped trying and started living. It was not a decision. Just clicked and here I am in the rest of my life. I am not trying. I am... I. Am. Happy. Too many people I care about have struggled... #TalkAboutTrying For each use of #TalkAboutTrying during NIAW, Ferring Pharmaceuticals will donate $1 to RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association #NIAW #flipthescript #saythefword #infertility

Let's talk diagnoses ~ my 1st infertility diagnosis was Low AMH, Premature Ovarian Failure, Diminished Ovarian Reserve, basically my ovaries are much older than my actual age. At the prime age of 34 I am running out of eggs. A "normal" woman around the age of 34 should have an AMH of a 2 or higher, mine was 0.5 when we began this journey, so you can only imagine how terrifying it was to hear this number. Next came the diagnosis of poor quality eggs, when our first and only egg retrieval was not successful, I was told that most likely the eggs that I do have left are not of good quality, another painful realization. Luckily, Chris and I were always open to the idea of a child that was not biologically ours, so we began down the path of embryo donation. After our first transfer was not successful, I was diagnosed with Hydrosalpinx (an infection of the Fallopian tubes) and Endometriosis, I had a surgery where I was terrified I would wake up with no tubes left and ZERO chance of ever conceiving naturally, because yes we still wish for that miracle to happen. I was lucky, I only lost 1 tube. The latest is my uterine lining is not responding and growing the way that it should, I'm not sure if this will be a new problem, or it just wasn't our time. And in between all these there have been cysts & polyps, amazing side effects from all the hormones. Truth- it takes a lot of emotional and mental strength for me to not feel "broken". My body simply can't do what it was made to do, that effects me more than anyone knows. I do a lot of self-talk, self-care and rely on my support system to remind myself that I am strong and this is the path I am meant to be on for some reason. It also helps that my amazing husband tells me every day that I am beautiful, perfect and most all of that he is not going anywhere. If you are trying to conceive and it's not working, please go see a doctor. Don't listen to everyone else and "wait". Time is precious, I am so glad that I listened to myself and my body. If I would have followed the "try for a year" rule, I would have been 6 months behind where I am now, because my diagnosis is about time. Hopefully your outcome is different

On a personal note, this week was National Infertility Awareness week, and Shad & I are #1in8. I couldn't wait to be a mom, and I struggled with an unexplained diagnosis for a long time. We're on the other side of it now, and strangely I'm very grateful for having gone through the experience. I learned a lot through our journey, it made our relationship stronger, humbled me and pushed me in directions I never originally saw for myself. While the most important lesson I learned was that I'm not in control, the second late lesson I learned is that I don't have to answer anyone's questions. Early on I felt that I had to answer the dreaded "when are you guys having kids?" question from family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. I overshared because I felt I owed something to the question, and part of me hoped that through sharing the true answer people would eventually stop asking. What I should have said was "it's none of your business", but I shouldn't have had to. If you're struggling, trust in the plan and that brighter days are ahead. And if you're not, I hope this post prevents you from asking that dreaded question to someone who could very well be the 1 in 8. 😘 . . . #infertilityawareness #infertility #talkabouttrying #infertilityjourney #goodmorning #saturdaymornings #coffee #saturday #love #justkeepswimming #wellallfloaton #farmhousestyle #myhomedecor #springfinally #decoratinghowto #theweekend #nofilter #teachersofinstagram #blogger #blog #bloggersofig #inspo #inspiration #strength #weddingphotography @marykellyphotography

#talkabouttrying I remember being 20 something and commenting that if I couldn't have kids "naturally," then I probably wouldn't. Fast forward 10 years later in life and 2+ years of trying to conceive, I didn't even think twice before doing IVF after it was recommended by our 3rd specialist. I remember crying the first time I gave myself a shot. I remember the strength Nathan summoned to give me the shots I couldn't do on my own. I remember feeling like my ovaries were bouncing off my thighs when I climbed the stairs and getting winded just walking down the street. I remember on the day of our embryos transfer laughing so hard I was fanning my face in an attempt to get enough oxygen because I had a little valium and thought the grain of the wood on our exam room door looked like giant follicles from our last vaginal ultrasound. I remember having a panic attack in Whole Foods during the two week wait, and having dreams that our two implanted embryos looked like eggs, sunny side up in a frying pan. I remember holding Nathan's hand and crying tears of joy while hearing Baby H's heartbeat for the first time, and then crying a little harder when we realized that only one embryo implanted. I remember feeling as if I was the only pregnant person in the world excited about having morning sickness, and later feeling ungrateful when I didn't like feeling so nauseous all the time. I remember laughing when my belly would ripple as Baby H moved around. I remember taking maternity photos while in labor a few weeks earlier than expected and trying to speed up the labor process by doing jump squats in my basement to my late brother-in-law's favorite music. I remember so many details of Baby H's birth and I remember how wondrous it felt to hold his warm, little body for the first time before he peed on me. I remember feeling morbid when the chorus to Metallica's "Enter Sandman" ran through my mind as Harrison slept in my arms with one eye open. I remember taking a bazillion pictures when we first got home from the hospital. I remember thinking I would never stop taking pictures, making memories or loving the tiny human we created. @midwestfertility #ivfjourney

The day Sofia met her little sister Gabriela. Our family is now complete, and we couldn't be happier (despite the craziness involved in having a toddler and a newborn). But getting here wasn't easy. For those who don't know, both of our kiddos are fertility treatment success stories. With Sofia, we endured 4 years of off and on treatments which included one molar pregnancy and a couple loses along the way. To add Gaby to the mix, we were extremely fortunate to have an awesome doctor (@infertilitydrperfetto at CORM), and we were lucky enough to become pregnant during our first treatment cycle. Not so fortunately, infertility often isn't recognized by insurance companies as a medical problem worthy of being covered. Treatment is expensive, and people's dreams of a family are often destroyed by finances. We have spent thousands upon thousands (upon thousands upon thousands...) of dollars to build our family. Dollars we, more often than not, didn't truly have to spend. We're still paying off medical bills from trying to build our family. That's absolutely crazy. My infertility is caused by a chronic medical issue that my insurance routinely pays to treat and will for the rest of my life, but if I need fertility treatment (because of the same issue) to have a family, I'm on my own. Sigh. And so many families have it so much worse. I'm so thankful that I have two beautiful little girls at the end of my journey. Others aren't so lucky. This week has been National Infertility Awareness Week, so I wanted to do my little part to raise awareness. 1 in 8 couples struggle to have children, so divide your "followers" by 8 and let your jaw hit the floor. It's painfully common, but when you are that ONE in eight, it feels so isolating and like you're the only one not able to do something that you're body was supposedly created for. So if one of your friends comes to you to support, know that he/she is feeling alone. Try to listen more than you speak. Don't tell her to relax (all the massages in the world won't cure my endocrine disorder). Don't tell her she can just adopt. Don't give her advice on how to increase fertility (I assure you she ..continued in comments)

Infertility is generally defined as not being able to get pregnant after a year of trying, for 40 percent of couples it's related to an issue with the male's sperm, for 40 percent it's down to a female reproductive cause and for 20 percent it's a combination of both.

If you're struggling with infertility and would like more information head to ACCESS.org.au

Lauren Williamson

Lauren Williamson is a digital writer, editor and social media fiend who's a huge fan of tackling new wellness trends, eating her way through foreign countries and getting worked up over politics.