Forget about feelings and cuddles. What happens when he’s spent after sex, but you’re still revved up for round two? Sexologist and relationship expert Dr Nikki Goldstein reckons you might want to shift your approach.
“Often after sex, men might be tired and not enthusiastic, but you have more in the tank. In this situation, you might perceive that as ‘He’s not interested, he’s not motivated for my pleasure.’ But, it all comes down to how our bodies are wired and we need to work with that. If you don’t get the difference, you might take it to heart.”
Instead, try an alternative tactic. “If he’s regularly saying he’s too tired after sex, use that to motivate him to put more effort into foreplay. Get him to focus on giving you an orgasm before or during sex, for the reason that the chances of him doing it after are limited. Then, rather than afterplay being something that requires effort, it will just be snuggling up and enjoying the bonding,” Goldstein says.
It’s kind of like having a huge protein-rich breakfast, rather than grazing through the day. Not ideal if you love grazing, but at least you’ll be satisfied, right?