But regardless of which camp you belong to, new research shows that the way you speak about your relationship says a lot about how healthy it is.
Scientists looked at data from 5,288 participants across 30 different studies, to establish the different dynamic between couples that used shared pronouns (like ‘we’ and ‘us’) vs those that used individual ones (like ‘I,’ ‘me,’ and ‘you.’)
While ‘we-talk’ was a sign of interdependence (meaning the couple viewed themselves as a combined unit rather than two separate entities), it was also associated with a ton of other positive qualities. Those who used this cohesive language were more likely to behave better toward their partner, have good interpersonal skills (such as the ability to compromise), be more satisfied with their S.O and be more committed. And as an added bonus, it was linked to better mental and physical health too.
“We-talk reflects a pivotal shift in individual’s perceptions when in romantic relationship s- changing from self - to relationship-oriented motivations,” the study reads. “In romantic relationships, those who have relationship-oriented, rather than self-oriented motivations tend to have more satisfying relationships.”