You spy a cutie across the bar. Cue nervous sweats, excuses not to chat him or her up, and desperate prayers (dear love gods, haaaalppp).
But when women make the first move, “it goes against the norm of men being the ‘hunters’ and often intrigues men,” says Debra Laino, doctor of human sexuality, a sexologist and couples and marriage therapist. And that confidence will come through if you're approaching a woman, too.
What's most important: “The pickup line most often should match the personality;" says Laino. "Otherwise, they can be epic fails.”
Need inspiration? Here, real women share lines they’ve really used:
1. 'WHY WAIT IN LINE HERE WHEN YOU CAN TOUR MY PLACE RIGHT NOW?'
“I was an undergrad. It was Halloween weekend and I wanted a hookup. But by the end of the night, I’d had no luck. I leave the bar and see a decent looking lad trying to get into the bar. I step up to him and say, ‘Why wait in line here when you can come see the inside of a Brown dorm room?’ He got a full tour.” — Meghan*, 30
2. 'WANNA SEE HOW GOOD I AM AT BLOWING?'
“I'd broken my foot while dancing and had to sport an air boot cast for a few weeks. I was young and fun enough at the time that I continued to go out to bars and clubs with the air boot. The boot comes with a little air pump you use to inflate the air bags that keep your foot stable. One time, I walked up to a guy and said, ‘Wanna see how good I am at blowing?’ Seeing his shocked face, I took out the small air pump out of my purse and we both laughed. I used that line with like a hundred guys. It always worked—meaning it always at least led to a dance floor makeout or number exchange.” —Adrinna*, 30
3. 'WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?'
“I’m a huge fan of going up to the bar when there is a cute man and asking, 'What are you drinking? Is it good?’ One time I did that, and the guy actually let me have a taste of his margarita, which I felt like was a win—even if we didn't end up going on a date.” —Lane*, 30
4. 'I’M LEAVING. WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME WITH ME?'
“I was at the after party of a graduate school event when I finally started chatting and flirting with a guy I had thought was super-hot all night. Eventually, though, I ‘lost’ him somewhere inside the bar. I saw him on my way out and said, ‘I’m leaving. Would you like to come with me?’ He was totally surprised and asked what I meant. I repeated myself; this time with some facial expression that said, ‘Yep, I mean exactly what you think I do.’ I felt awesome that it happened, but the sex was basically the worst I’d ever had.” — Rachel, 31
5. [WEARS WHITE DRESS, SEEKS RAIN.]
“I was at a bar in college wearing a white spaghetti strap dress (with no bra). Toward the end of the night, a guy I’d had a crush on for years asked me if I wanted to come back to his place to hang out. As we started walking back, I could tell there was a chance it was going to rain, so I slowed my walk. I thought I could have a Breakfast at Tiffany's or The Notebook makeout scene in the rain. It worked—white dress and all. And now here I am, married to the man.” —Sarah, 30
6. 'LET’S SHOOT HOOPS. AND BY SHOOT HOOPS, I MEAN…'
“My co-ed summer basketball team was short a few players for a game, so we recruited a couple of new guys to join in. One was super cute—insanely tall, had sort of a crooked smile, and was exactly my type. At lunch with the team after the game I said, ‘Let’s shoot hoops sometime’ and asked him for his number. I texted him later to say that by ‘shoot hoops’ I meant ‘go out for a beer.’ He had a girlfriend, but I'm glad I tried. And I'm now dating a truly wonderful, gorgeous guy who I asked out on OkCupid by saying, ‘Let's go for a bike ride sometime!’ There's a real theme here.” — Eillie, 27
7. [INSERT STARE.]
“I'm less of a pickup line person and more of a ‘sexy eye’ kinda gal. Usually, I just bat my eyes at them until they approach. I ended up dating one guy from this method, but only because he came up to me to ask why I was glaring at him. Oops!” —Lane*, 30
8. 'I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.'
“I spotted a hot guy at a bluegrass concert—he had a long beard, a real tree shirt (a type of hunting gear that is a step beyond camo; it's for real hunters) and jeans. My friend and I positioned ourselves right in front of him for a few songs before I turned around and said, ‘I like your shirt’ and we started chatting. We dated for months and it was really wonderful. I was glad I took a chance on talking to him and especially glad that he didn't think I was mocking his shirt. I really do like the pattern!” —Selena, 37
This article originally appeared on Women's Health US