But when women make the first move, “it goes against the norm of men being the ‘hunters’ and often intrigues men,” says Debra Laino, doctor of human sexuality, a sexologist and couples and marriage therapist. And that confidence will come through if you're approaching a woman, too.
What's most important: “The pickup line most often should match the personality;" says Laino. "Otherwise, they can be epic fails.”
Need inspiration? Here, real women share lines they’ve really used:
1. 'WHY WAIT IN LINE HERE WHEN YOU CAN TOUR MY PLACE RIGHT NOW?'
“I was an undergrad. It was Halloween weekend and I wanted a hookup. But by the end of the night, I’d had no luck. I leave the bar and see a decent looking lad trying to get into the bar. I step up to him and say, ‘Why wait in line here when you can come see the inside of a Brown dorm room?’ He got a full tour.” — Meghan*, 30
2. 'WANNA SEE HOW GOOD I AM AT BLOWING?'
“I'd broken my foot while dancing and had to sport an air boot cast for a few weeks. I was young and fun enough at the time that I continued to go out to bars and clubs with the air boot. The boot comes with a little air pump you use to inflate the air bags that keep your foot stable. One time, I walked up to a guy and said, ‘Wanna see how good I am at blowing?’ Seeing his shocked face, I took out the small air pump out of my purse and we both laughed. I used that line with like a hundred guys. It always worked—meaning it always at least led to a dance floor makeout or number exchange.” —Adrinna*, 30
3. 'WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?'
“I’m a huge fan of going up to the bar when there is a cute man and asking, 'What are you drinking? Is it good?’ One time I did that, and the guy actually let me have a taste of his margarita, which I felt like was a win—even if we didn't end up going on a date.” —Lane*, 30
4. 'I’M LEAVING. WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME WITH ME?'
“I was at the after party of a graduate school event when I finally started chatting and flirting with a guy I had thought was super-hot all night. Eventually, though, I ‘lost’ him somewhere inside the bar. I saw him on my way out and said, ‘I’m leaving. Would you like to come with me?’ He was totally surprised and asked what I meant. I repeated myself; this time with some facial expression that said, ‘Yep, I mean exactly what you think I do.’ I felt awesome that it happened, but the sex was basically the worst I’d ever had.” — Rachel, 31
5. [WEARS WHITE DRESS, SEEKS RAIN.]
“I was at a bar in college wearing a white spaghetti strap dress (with no bra). Toward the end of the night, a guy I’d had a crush on for years asked me if I wanted to come back to his place to hang out. As we started walking back, I could tell there was a chance it was going to rain, so I slowed my walk. I thought I could have a Breakfast at Tiffany's or The Notebook makeout scene in the rain. It worked—white dress and all. And now here I am, married to the man.” —Sarah, 30
6. 'LET’S SHOOT HOOPS. AND BY SHOOT HOOPS, I MEAN…'
“My co-ed summer basketball team was short a few players for a game, so we recruited a couple of new guys to join in. One was super cute—insanely tall, had sort of a crooked smile, and was exactly my type. At lunch with the team after the game I said, ‘Let’s shoot hoops sometime’ and asked him for his number. I texted him later to say that by ‘shoot hoops’ I meant ‘go out for a beer.’ He had a girlfriend, but I'm glad I tried. And I'm now dating a truly wonderful, gorgeous guy who I asked out on OkCupid by saying, ‘Let's go for a bike ride sometime!’ There's a real theme here.” — Eillie, 27
7. [INSERT STARE.]
“I'm less of a pickup line person and more of a ‘sexy eye’ kinda gal. Usually, I just bat my eyes at them until they approach. I ended up dating one guy from this method, but only because he came up to me to ask why I was glaring at him. Oops!” —Lane*, 30
8. 'I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.'
“I spotted a hot guy at a bluegrass concert—he had a long beard, a real tree shirt (a type of hunting gear that is a step beyond camo; it's for real hunters) and jeans. My friend and I positioned ourselves right in front of him for a few songs before I turned around and said, ‘I like your shirt’ and we started chatting. We dated for months and it was really wonderful. I was glad I took a chance on talking to him and especially glad that he didn't think I was mocking his shirt. I really do like the pattern!” —Selena, 37
This article originally appeared on Women's Health US