Psychologists at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology were exploring what factors affect the frequency of intercourse in couples. One interesting finding is that women who tend to have more open attitudes towards casual sexual relationships are better at separating the positive, physical aspects of sex, from the emotional aspects of a relationship. I.e. They can still enjoy a good romp even if their significant other forgot to take out the rubbish bins for the millionth time.
According to sex and relationships expert Jessica O’Reilly, there are plenty of reasons why men usually try to throw the leg over, one of which is that men are straight-up horn dogs.
“Research suggests that men think about sex more often than women, so it follows that they may seek it out more frequently,” O’Reilly told Women's Health.
Because that’s a fact we’re all well aware of, we tend to think that if our partner was in the mood, he’d let us know.
“This, of course, isn’t necessarily the case,” says O’Reilly. “Men aren’t always comfortable initiating sex and they aren’t always in the mood for sex either—sometimes you need to help put him in the mood.”
But giving your guy the ol' wink wink nudge nudge can really pay off because when you both initiate sex you have more sex. Here are Jessica's tips for initiating sex with your partner.
1. Be demanding
“Tell your partner to get on their knees, climb on top, or strip naked in the kitchen,” says O’Reilly. Not only does this give him a clear guide of what to do, it gives you exactly what you have a hankering for. “You’ll likely get more of what you want when you initiate,” says O’Reilly. “You set the mood, choose the location, and set the pace.”
2. Start early
It's never to early in the day to begin building sexual tension. Send your man a cheeky text giving him a taste of what’s to come.
3. Drop hints
Get a little Hansel and Gretel with some sexy props, e.g. leave the vibe you like to use together on his pillow to signal your interest.
4. Play masseuse
The whole massage/happy ending thing is a fantasy for a lot of guys, so play it out at home. Offer to give your guy a rubdown, and then slooowly work your way south until you end up massaging his inner thighs. You've got it from there. Setting the stage this way helps put him in a giving mood and gives you a serious boost in sexual self-esteem because he’s literally putty in your hands, says O’Reilly.