Given her swift star ascension, there came a time where it all caught up with Goulding. In a 2020 interview with the BBC, the singer revealed she was exhausted, drained, and searching for meaning. When the global pandemic hit, Goulding moved back to Gloucestershire and hunkered down with her husband, art dealer Caspar Jopling. In a recent interview with Vogue, the singer has now revealed the pair are expecting their first child together.
Goulding will launch a wellness book this September, titled Fitter. Calmer. Stronger, perhaps a nod to her own journey in navigating fame while still carving out time for herself. The big news however, is of course the bub. Speaking to the publication, she revealed that the last time she made a major public appearance was at the V&A Museum in August of 2020 when she had no idea she was pregnant.
“That was [around] the time when [Caspar and I] went away briefly when we were allowed to for our one-year anniversary, and that’s basically when we found out. It was crazy because it was our one-year anniversary. That was not the plan. The thought of getting pregnant didn’t seem like it could be a reality. Becoming pregnant kind of made me feel human. I want a better word than womanly, [but] - I have curves I’ve never had before. I’m enjoying it. My husband’s enjoying it,” said Goulding.
Goulding expressed that being pregnant during a global pandemic has its challenges. “It happens really quickly, and then you almost don’t believe it at first,” she said. “You’re still eating the same, looking the same, for a while I was probably in denial. I was in such a good streak of fitness.”
Goulding’s upcoming book examines how exercise and movement improves your quality of life, with fitness having always been a priority for the singer, who is known to run six miles per day. But as Goulding revealed, when she got further into her first trimester, all of those things she’d talked about and encouraged suddenly felt like they were being thrown out the window. “I started having a completely different body and different energy, I couldn’t deal with everything!”
“I actually went from being smug about how healthy my salads were and my breakfasts and eating nuts and seeds, and then all I wanted was McDonalds,” she told the publication. “And I was kind of terrified, I suddenly wanted all the bad things! Whatever this baby did when it took over my body was like, Hell no - I do not want broccoli, spinach, collards! I just wanted sugar and carbs.”
Still, through her pregnancy Goulding has found herself being more reflective. Even so, the isolation experienced as a result of lockdown still proved significant. “You have your partner, and you have your friends, but in a pandemic, it can feel particularly lonely.” As Goulding explains, “Because it wasn’t something I had planned for right now, [and] I knew it was a more solitary journey because of what’s going on. I think that made me keep it very secretive and made me very protective over it. The sickness and tiredness was nothing I’d ever experienced before. I feel like it’s a taboo to talk about pregnancy as being challenging. It’s not always serene and like you’re not always glowing. I’m not saying that every second of this pregnancy has been miserable. It’s not always going to be easy. [But,] I have a newfound respect for any woman who has children.”
While Goulding is embracing the unknown and accepting all that comes her way with regards to the pregnancy, she’s also deeply understanding that such experiences are unique and every woman’s pregnancy story is different. “Never have I wanted to listen to other women’s stories so much,” says the star. “I’m trying to take things much more in the moment now and not worry [too much] about the future because every single day it’s different. It’s nice to think about the nursery and what kind of baby I’ll have, but personally I’ve been able to deal with it by being kind to myself, accepting myself bad or good, and taking it day by day.”