Let's answer a few easier, light-hearted questions before we dive into the harder ones. While they may be fun, knowing basic facts about your partner at the very least shows you're paying attention to what they say, do, and enjoy. Let's see how good you are at remembering the following:
- What's your partner's favourite TV show?
- What's your partner's favourite book?
- What food does your partner like to cook?
- What's their favourite colour?
- Where did you two meet?
- What colour are their eyes?
Questions About The Future
Sure, you guys are in love now. But if you plan on staying together forev, there's a lot you should talk through to make sure you're on the same page.
"Finding out someone's current state of mind regarding their dreams is important," says Gigi Engle, resident Womanizer sexologist and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide To Sex, Love, and Life. "It shows you if they have direction and drive, both key things in forming long-term partnerships." When it comes to the future, here's what you should ask:
- What does your partner want their life to look like in five years?
- Where do they see themselves living in an ideal world?
- Would your partner ever relocate to accommodate your job?
- Would your partner ever want a long-distance relationship?
- Does your partner want to get married in the future?
- How happy are they with their current work situation?
- How does your partner feel about having kids?
- Does your partner want to own a home one day?
- Does your partner like to talk about the future? Why or why not?
Questions About The Past
As much as talking about the future is important, there's also a lot you should know about your partner's past. "A person's childhood sets the stage for their emotional well-being for the rest of their lives," says Engle. "The messages we perceive from our primary caregivers form the fundamental beliefs we have about the world. Knowing what you're walking into is important." Here's what you should be asking about your partner's past:
- What kind of relationship does your partner have with their parents?
- What kind of relationship does your partner have with their siblings?
- Are they still in touch with any friends from childhood?
- Did they have a positive high school experience?
- Were their parents supportive of their dreams and goals?
- How was their college experience?
- Does your partner get excited about visiting home?
- How does your partner feel about their exes?
- Do they feel they've been able to maintain positive romantic relationships?
- Do they have any past experience with mental health issues?
Questions About Values
According to Brito, many arguments in a relationship are triggered by couples having conflicting values. "You want to see if someone's values align with yours," adds Engle. "This is a key factor in compatibility. You shouldn't have to change yourself to fit into someone else's ideals, and visa versa."
- What are your partner's political beliefs?
- How important is family to your partner?
- How much does your partner value physical activity?
- What does your partner prefer to do with their time off?
- Does your partner like to travel?
- How does your partner feel about having pets?
- Does your partner donate to charity?
- Who are the most important people in your partner's life?
- What is your partner's favourite thing about their job?
- How does your partner like to spend their money?
Questions About Communication
When it comes to relationships, communication is *always* key. "What matters is knowing when your partner needs space and closeness, and not to take it personally," says Brito. Answer these questions to find out how well you know your partner's communication style:
- Does your partner consider himself an introvert or an extrovert?
- How does your partner prefer to show affection? (Touch? Gifts? Acts of kindness?)
- How does your partner prefer to receive affection?
- Does your partner easily identify their feelings?
- How does your partner define an argument?
- What does your partner like to talk about at the end of each day?
- Does your partner like to communicate via phone? (Text? FaceTime?)
- How does your partner bring up uncomfortable topics?
Questions About Sex
"People have different views on kinks, desires, porn habits, and libidos," says Engle. Here's what you should know:
- What does good sex look like for your partner?
- Does your partner enjoy using sex toys?
- How does your partner feel about watching porn?
- What's your partner's favourite sex position?
- How does your partner feel about using lube?
- How adventurous is your partner in the bedroom?
- How does your partner define romance?
Now that you've answered all your couples questions, it's time to reveal your answers to your partner. Remember: It's okay if you got a few wrong! Consider it a chance to talk through the tough stuff.
This article originally appeared on Women's Health US.