Let’s be real, sometimes the workout world can seem pretty darn overwhelming. With seemingly endless sweat styles to sift through (what even is plogging, anyways?), there’s something to be said for finding a class/bootcamp/method that perfectly fits your personality like a well-worn boxing glove.
Thankfully, the universe has some insight as to what will suit you best, based on your zodiac sign. We hit up professional astrologer, Mystic Medusa to break it down for us.
Super-competitive tabata, Crossfit, High-Intensity Interval Sprints, primal anything and preferably with a massive chalkboard so that Ramzilla can keep SCORE.
Taurus likes slow and deliberate – deep hip opening asanas in yoga, where the ten minute hold only begins the moment you want to get out of it. Serenity via agony and spiritual composition under grace is totally Taurus.
Geminis find choreography to be actually relaxing to their weirdly wired brain AND they like neon hues – they’re a shoe-in for Zumba, Retro-Step classes and anything involving a “grapevine.”
Crab-folk like to build a strong protective shell of muscle to shield their squishy emotions inside – they like the reassuring ritual of the iron, the bench press, their special security protein shake.
Anything dance-oriented or even Barre class, ideally with the opportunity to add some tulle to a leotard or fantasise they are in the Bolshoi ballet squad.
The ideal Virgo work-out involves funky gadgets that they can quantify everything with – X amount of kilojoules burned, Y number of centimetres reached with their squat today.
Being all about symmetry, Libra people are naturally attracted to Pilates and its precision focus on everything coming into alignment.
Creatures of Pluto, the God of the Underworld, Scorpios are martial artists at heart – Jiu Jitsu, MMA, boxing – whatever is sweaty, adrenal and a cathartic release of pent-up emotions.
Anything so long as it is outdoors and doesn’t need to be booked in – surfing, a huge hike, spontaneous Qi Gong under a canopy of trees with dappled sunlight, horse riding.
Capricorns are super-old-school and like stuff without fuss – if rich, Capricorns will hire a trainer and delegate the whole deal to them – if not, Capricorns diligently walk/run however many kilometres a day keeps the weight off, cuts carbs and does push-ups/sit-ups in their bedroom as a meditation routine.
Aquarius generally likes to do work-outs that most people have not heard of – Anti-Gravity Yoga before it got “mainstream” - for example. At the moment, they’re into masochistic mobility work-outs where they roll out bunched up fascia with a tractor tyre looking alien roller device.
Pisces is exercise bi-polar, needing an over-whelming philosophy to become evangelical about and then becoming obsessed with something before flipping totally in the other direction. If they don’t have a crush on someone at the time, Pisces likes to let themselves run to seed.