Celebrities may not be known for their long marriages. (Hello, 72 days: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries! Or, 55 hours: Britney Spears and Jason Alexander!), but there are some couples out there who define #relationshipgoals. Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard, we’re looking at you.
And while we adore his marriage to Blake Lively, even Ryan Reynolds has poked fun at getting asked for relationship know-how. When one Twitter follower asked him for “celebrity advice on how to keep happy wife/life,” Ryan joked: “You’ve come to the right place, Dirk. Celebrities are the gold standard for relationship advice.” But really, sometimes celebrity couples do give the best tips.
They’re often practical, too. No suggestions to jet off on exotic vacays like Bora Bora or share expensive dinners at the hottest restaurants. It’s about communication, seeing your partner as your best friend, and honouring what’s important to each of you. Oh, and there’s sex, too. Can’t forget that!
When you need a little pick-me-up of advice from swoon-worthy couples, you can turn to these shining examples of what it’s like to keep the romance alive, love fiercely, and work out your sh*t:
KNOW WHAT YOU BOTH VALUE
Jessica Biel said that when it comes to hubby Justin Timberlake, "We have similar values; we believe in loyalty, honesty. We like to have fun. We like a lot of the same things,” she told Marie Claire in 2017. “…If you can find that and someone who shares the same values as you, it's like: Score!” she adds.
Blake Lively told Vanity Fair in 2017 that she treats husband Ryan Reynolds “like my girlfriend,” and says that Ryan treats her “like his best buddy.” Given all their good-natured disses to each other, maintaining that strong-knit friendship is clearly working for them.
MAKE TIME FOR ROMANCE
If there were a cutest couple awards, it may go to John Legend and wife Chrissy Teigen. To keep the love vibes going strong, John told E! News that you need to have “romance time.”
“You just have to make time for each other, go on little trips like we did for her birthday, and go to dinner just the two of you sometimes,” he said. In psych-speak, these are considered “relationship enhancement strategies,” according to a 2017 study. Doing things together is one piece in the puzzle to maintaining your union long-term.
FLIRT WITH HIM
Jessie James and Eric Decker have been married for four years and she keeps “the spice alive” with a little flirtation, she told People. “I think women sometimes stop flirting with their husbands and you can’t. Men want to want feel good—they want to feel like their women love them. When they come home from work, don’t start nagging them with questions. Go up to them and give them a big kiss and ask them how their day was."
TRY HARD AND BE VULNERABLE
The simplest words may be the best. On a Reddit thread this year, one commenter asked Kristen Bell (who’s married to Dax Shepard) for a piece of advice for other couples. “Try hard. It’s uncomfortable, but worth it,” Bell said. “Also BE VULNERABLE. No one does it right. So forgive. And then be vulnerable again,” she added.
Another person replied to her with “I’ve been married for seven years, and this statement is one of the best things I’ve read since I started this ride. Well freakin' said.” So, you know it’s the truth.
Sex once a week has been scientifically shown to boost your happiness with your partner. And maybe Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos, who’ve been married for 21 years, do it a bit more. On a Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen, Andy said he heard that they have sex “as much as possible to keep the relationship going.” Kelly confirmed.
“I believe I said that to you…I fundamentally believe that the more you do it, the more you do it. The less you do it, the less you do it.”
TALK IT OUT
Neil Patrick Harris and husband David Burtka may be one of our favorite couples, and it looks like their communication style is on point. "In our relationship, communication is super important. Good friends of ours said, 'You need to talk it out,' and if that means raising your voice, you need to raise your voice. Know what you're talking about. Know where you're standing as opposed to letting stuff build up, I guess,” NPH told Entertainment Tonight. Smart move. Research shows that thinking about how you’d feel in the future about a present conflict and addressing it—rather than stewing in it—can help you “fight” in a healthier way and grow stronger as a couple.
This article originally appeared on Women’s Health US.