You’ve had five-star sex. You’ve got a smug glow and you’re buzzing like you’ve had a double-shot latte. But then your bloke rolls over and falls asleep. Or checks his Snapchat. Or makes a sandwich. It’s akin to coming straight out of an Oscar-worthy movie and into a too-bright, overcrowded city street. Staying in the cinema air-con to enjoy the experience a little longer always seems to make it that much better.
Yep, you’ve fired up your foreplay and found the elusive G-spot, but should you be making ‘afterplay’ a priority? We’re talking the post-sex chats/spoon session /kissing/general warm and fuzzy stuff that deepens your connection after the big O. According to sex therapist Christina Spaccavento, the answer is... yes! “For many people, sex isn’t just about physical release, but also about feeling connected and close to their lover. So for them afterplay is just as important as any other phase of sex.”
Research backs this up. A study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior explored the link between ‘post-sex affectionate behaviour’ and sexual and relationship satisfaction. The result? Being loved up for longer after sex was associated with higher satisfaction in both areas. The study also found couples who bumped up post-sex affection over the course of the study were more satisfied three months later. And 100 per cent of participants agreed assessing ‘post-sex affectionate behaviour’ was the biggest mood killer ever. Just kidding (sort of).
So what’s the first step? “With your partner, deliberately set time aside to prolong afterplay, as it can be a great way to have time out from everyday stresses,” advises Spaccavento. “You can also use afterplay to talk about what you enjoyed and areas you want to explore.” Feedback form, at the ready.