It’s that infidelity – whether physical or emotional – is never the answer when you’re torn between two lovers. But as Big proved when he took back Carrie after she cheated with Aidan, it’s not totally unforgivable. Relationships are complicated and sometimes decisions that seem incredibly tough in the moment work out for the better.
Here, via Reddit, 8 women share exactly what went down after leaving their partner to pursue another man.
1. "I left my spouse for an emotional affair I was having. I felt like, if I was in love with another man, I couldn't keep up the facade of being with my husband at the time. It was a dysfunctional relationship. My emotional affair partner was also married and we were going to leave our spouses for each other. I left mine. He didn't leave his. It was fine. I didn't want to be home-wrecker so I'm glad it didn't work out. I wish him the best and he really was a window to what I could have, and deserved to have. A few years later I found a partner who respects me and loves me for me. It's wonderful." [Via]
2. "My husband wanted me to sleep with other people so he could 'export' my needs out and not have to worry about meeting them. We did polyamory with me as the hinge partner. I got divorced about four months after meeting my now-husband (which likely saved my life) and, after four years together, we got married two months ago. He makes me effervescently happy. It's a much healthier relationship compared to my last marriage, and anyone who knows me (and knew me back them) can't stop commenting on the vast difference in my demeanour and happiness." [Via]
3. "I left my ex of 13 years (married for seven) for someone else. My ex and I weren't compatible but we pretended we were for years. We met at church at 14 and desperately wanted to show the world what an amazing couple we were. We weren't. He was addicted to porn and got angry if I said no to sex which he wanted daily. He called me fat when I wasn't, he never let me wear the clothes I wanted, he hated my friends, he hated my life choices, he wouldn't let me choose the career path I wanted. I met an amazing man in 2013, became very close friends and suddenly fell in love. Almost seven years later we have two beautiful daughters, are married and recently bought a home. We're so happy with each other still and we have a very deep connection. It's so refreshing to never have to lie to your significant other." [Via]
4. "We're still together. While handled poorly, my meeting someone and falling in love was the kick that my ex and I needed to make us admit we weren’t getting what we needed out of our relationship anymore. We got together young, married out of momentum, had a child and then grew apart. I married the affair partner and we have kids too. I do not advise anyone to do what I did. Most situations like mine don’t work out, and I’m well aware of that." [Via]
5. "Extreme brutal karma. We were together for four years, had a child together, owned property together, got engaged. Everything seemed perfect, until I found out that he'd been cheating for the entire duration of the relationship. Ouch. I learned so much from that experience and came out as a better person. And now, we are not together but we co-parent fantastically and have a civil relationship. So it worked out in the end and made me better." [Via]
6. "I left my spouse for a man I met through work who was in the country on a Visa. We stayed together until his Visa expired and then parted on good terms. My ex-husband had gotten engaged and I'm already remarried. We're both much happier. I basically used the affair as a lifeboat out of an unhappy (on my end, apparently he was happy) relationship. I wouldn't do it again though. I should have been brave and left without hurting anyone in the process." [Via]
7. "At that time it was a great choice. My partner and I are no longer together though. We split ways after five years. My ex-husband and I were together for 12 years. I'm still friends with both men." [Via]
8. "My SO and I left our marriages for each other. It's definitely had it's rocky moments but we are still together six years later. I absolutely don't recommend it (so much guilt and heartbreak involved) but even if we don't work out I really needed to be out of that marriage. So I'm glad I left, at the very least." [Via]