The 5 Most Common Sex Dreams And Exactly What They Mean

The 5 Most Common Sex Dreams And Exactly What They Mean

by | May 31, 2018

If you’re waking up in the middle of the night feeling a little hot and bothered, and your crazy sex dream involves someone, um, unexpected, don’t worry — you’re not alone. Sex dreams are super common, and if you dig a little deeper, you might be able to derive some meaning from them.

A little bit about dreams in general: you’re more likely to have one once you’ve entered REM sleep (Rapid Eye Movement), when the brain is most stimulated and creative. “It turns out that our sleep cycles last about 90 minutes, with REM sleep occupying a greater percentage of that cycle the more we sleep. This explains why we typically remember dreams just as we awaken, which is during longer REM cycles,” explains Robert Glatter, MD.

Sex dreams, in particular, are a manifestation of your subconscious anxieties and desires, which might not necessarily be sexual at all. “Dreaming is a snapshot of our desires, worries, a stream of consciousness — essentially, a mirror of how we are feeling at the present time,” says Glatter.

They’re typically a reflection of what you feel you’re lacking in your life, says Lauri Quinn Loewenberg, a professional dream analyst and author of Dream on It: Unlock Your Dreams, Change Your Life. So yes, just because you have a sex dream about someone does not mean you actually want to have sex with them — but it does mean that you might want something from them, or that they have a quality you admire.

Here are a few common sex dreams you might be all too familiar with. 

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1. Sex with a coworker.

If you’re having sex dreams involving a co-worker, it doesn’t necessarily mean you want to have sex with them IRL (nor should you, because, you know, it’s generally frowned upon by most HR departments). But it might mean you’re looking to borrow some of your co-worker’s more admirable traits.

“While you may not be attracted to the co-worker you dreamed about, there is some quality they possess that you want for yourself. Ask yourself what stands out about this co-worker to you. Is she the one that has the highest amount of sales? The go-to person for tech issues? Or maybe the boss’s favourite?” says Loewenberg.

2. Sex with your boss.

If you’re getting heated with your boss, you’re likely looking for dominance and power. Remember: sex dreams are not necessarily about the person, but what they represent, such as “power, authority, management skills, decision making, etc.,” Loewenberg says.

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3. Sex with a celebrity.

Dreaming of hot sex on the beach with Channing Tatum? It could mean you’re trying to connect with some aspect of his movies to improve your life. Think about what first comes to mind regarding this celebrity. Is it a movie? If so, does the title or storyline of the movie seem relevant to your life right now? Follow the thread, and you will find something about that celebrity that you identify with. (Or you could just think the dude is super hot. Either one, really.)


4. Sex with a stranger.

“I call this the mystery lover dream, and it’s the most common of all sex dreams. Many of us wonder if this dream is actually a glimpse of our soul mate who might be out there somewhere waiting for us,” says Loewenberg.

Well, we hate to break it to you, but it’s not your soul mate. But the faceless man or woman that appears in our dreams does indeed hold significance. “The mystery lover in your dreams is the embodiment of the qualities we tend to associate with that gender,” Loewenberg says — regardless of what gender you’re attracted to IRL. If you’re having sex with an unknown man, for instance, then you’re trying to channel more stereotypically “masculine” traits, such as dominance, ambition, or aggressiveness.

5. Sex with an ex.

Even if years have passed, your ex might come up in your dreams. But don’t take that as a sign to hop on the next flight to see them. The most common meaning behind the “sex with the ex” dream is a need to rekindle the excitement in your intimate life, explains Loewenberg. 

Dreaming of the ex who broke your heart? That “can be a sign that you are stuck emotionally and have not allowed yourself to move on. These dreams are a clear indication that you have not healed, in which case the dreams will continue until you let go and leave the past in the past,” she says.

This article originally appeared on Men’s Health US.

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8 Of The Best Exercise Shorts That Will Power You Through A Summer Of Movement

It’s official: Shorts Season is officially here. While lockdown has seen many of us realise that activewear is less something to be worn for a workout and more a uniform we choose to do any and all daily activities in, when the warmer temperatures roll around, that favourite pair of sweatpants and leggings sometimes don’t cut it. Sure, they might be a staple in any wardrobe, but the Aussie sun doesn’t listen to reason, no matter how comfortable or cute it might be. And when it comes to summer, working out in leggings can feel like being trapped in a sauna, the sweat pooling at your ankles and around the waistband – as well as those other areas we won’t mention here. 

But as we transition from leggings to shorts, it becomes clear pretty quickly that not all shorts are created equal, and certainly not all shorts are fit for a workout. Take it from us at Women’s Health HQ, we’ve been there, tried it and lived to see the consequences. From the shorts that look cute but ride up to show your undies on the run, to those that feel like being strapped into a harness that’s digging into your hip bones. Then there are the fabrics that can cause chafing – a big no – and those that basically shine a spotlight on any area you might be sweating. 

Thankfully, a number of brands are here to cater to your exercise needs with innovative materials, fabrics and sustainable options to see you through a summer of movement. Regardless of your workout preferences or daily activity, we’ve selected the best shorts that will ensure you feel good in your body, shorts that get you excited to embrace the day and attack it with energy, that make you want to get outside and enjoy the outdoors, whether it be walking, running, or socialising in the park. Here are our pick of the best bike shorts below. 


Uptown Biker, $240

What says summer more than a pop of orange and the sleek shape of these Nagnata biker shorts? With its mid-length and horizontal raised rib side detail, these are shorts you can wear both for a workout and out to meet the girls. Made in Australia with a technical knit fabrication, the double-layer jacquard provides gentle sculpting qualities for the body, making it an excellent choice for light to moderate fitness activities like yoga, pilates or barre. 

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New Balance

Q Speed Fuel Short, $70

We love the colour of these shorts from New Balance which are cut with a sleek, speedy look that also helps to elongate the legs. Featuring NB DRY moisture wicking fabric, these are the shorts you want for high intensity exercise or long runs, keeping you comfortable and dry. There’s also an interior brief for added comfort and a stash pocket to keep your essentials. 

All Access

Ultra High Rise Zip Front Biker Short, $78

Yes, the colour is amazing but the fit is equally sensational on these All Access shorts. For those who love a high-rise fit and wide waistband that holds you in at the waist, look no further. The sleek, shiny look offers mid-compression and the fabric is moisture-wicking, so you can stay comfortable even during your sweatiest workouts. 


Nike x Naomi Osaka Utility Short, $90

Few things are worse than heading out the door for a run and realising your shorts offer no pockets for those essentials you need. You’re left to hold your iPhone, keys, and anything else you might need in your sweaty palm. Thankfully, Naomi Osaka knows what we need when it comes to exercise shorts and these utility shorts from her collaboration with Nike offer all that and more with a relaxed fit and elastic waistband. 


Session short Tights, $72

When it comes to bike shorts, you want to feel supported and held in but you also want to be able to breathe. These Tracksmith session short tights are exceptional in offering support while still ensuring comfort remains a priority. Forget about chafing, these shorts won’t ride up and down and the fabric offers more coverage and support against the body. 

Outdoor Voices

Relay 3” Short, $48

Who said summer shorts have to be boring? Outdoor Voices brings fashion-forward style and playfulness to their collections with fun prints and exciting colours. We love the relay 3” shorts for their ultralight, quick-drying fabric that also happens to be made from recycled polyester. But more importantly, we love the print and Poppy Swirl is as good as it gets. There’s even a hidden pocket for your valuables, too. 


Align High-Rise Short 6”, $69

If you’re familiar with the buttery-soft feel of Lululemon’s tights, you’ll want to get your hands on a pair of their shorts, too. Made with the same Nulu fabric that their tights are known for, these shorts feel weightless and super soft. They might be our go-to staple for any workout, but the feel is so second-skin that it’s hard to not wear them for every other activity, too. 

Spiritual Gangster

Seamless Biker Short, $112

These biker shorts from Spiritual Gangster move with you, thanks to a three-tiered compressive waistband that offers a flattering high waist that hugs you in all the right places, without proving constrictive. They offer medium compression but are built for all day comfort, and the colour is a true summer staple because, let’s face it, who doesn’t love tie-dye?