WomensHealth
  • News
  • Health
  • Fitness
  • Sex & Love
  • Food
  • Weight Loss
  • Women In Sport
  • Beauty
  • Podcasts
  • Video
WomensHealth
  • News
  • Health
  • Fitness
  • Sex & Love
  • Food
  • Weight Loss
  • Women In Sport
  • Beauty
  • Podcasts
  • Video
Subscribe
How Yahya Abdul-Mateen II Got God-Level Ripped for Watchmen
Watch 8:53

How Yahya Abdul-Mateen II Got God-Level Ripped for Watchmen

{headline}

{headline}

16 Male Erogenous Zones You Need Play With ASAP Tonight

16 Male Erogenous Zones You Need Play With ASAP Tonight

12 Ways To Feel Sexy AF Right This Very Second

12 Ways To Feel Sexy AF Right This Very Second

Your December Sex Horoscope Is Here, And Things Are Getting Hot And Heavy

Your December Sex Horoscope Is Here, And Things Are Getting Hot And Heavy

How To Break Through A Dry Spell—Whether You're Single Or Not

How To Break Through A Dry Spell—Whether You're Single Or Not

{headline}

{headline}

Study Finds Women Are More Attracted To Psychopaths

Study Finds Women Are More Attracted To Psychopaths

Everything You Need To Know About Make-Up Sex Before It Becomes A Habit

Everything You Need To Know About Make-Up Sex Before It Becomes A Habit

12 Couples On What Tipped Them Off That The Honeymoon Period Was Over

12 Couples On What Tipped Them Off That The Honeymoon Period Was Over

{headline}

{headline}

7 Short Guys Share How They *Really* Feel About Dating Taller Women

7 Short Guys Share How They *Really* Feel About Dating Taller Women

What Is A Karmic Relationship? 13 Signs You're In One And Need To GTFO

What Is A Karmic Relationship? 13 Signs You're In One And Need To GTFO

10 Little Things Connected Couples Do

10 Little Things Connected Couples Do

Therapists Share How Often The Happiest Couples Have Sex

Therapists Share How Often The Happiest Couples Have Sex

10 Couples Share The Details Of Their Hottest Sex Ever

10 Couples Share The Details Of Their Hottest Sex Ever

This Is How Long You Should Wait To Sleep With Someone You Want A Relationship With

This Is How Long You Should Wait To Sleep With Someone You Want A Relationship With

9 Ways To Set Healthy Boundaries In A Relationship

9 Ways To Set Healthy Boundaries In A Relationship

  1. Home
  2. Sex & Love

These Subtle Tricks Will Help You End A Sex Rut In 20 Minutes Or Less

"Siri, set a timer." - by Alison Bonaguro
  • 27 Nov 2019
These Subtle Tricks Will Help You End A Sex Rut In 20 Minutes Or Less
Getty

You get into bed. He gets into bed. He puts his arm there. You shift your leg there. His clothes come off. You kiss him that way. Your clothes come off and things go precisely as they always have for literally ever, and voila, everybody comes.

While that's the end game for sure—going through the motions can make you feel disconnected. 

We consulted David Yarian, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist to get tips on how to reach our final destination without taking the same old roads.

RELATED: 'My Husband And I Stopped Having Sex— But Our Bond Is Stronger Than Ever'

Discuss your hottest sex memories

Here, he explains what you can do tonight—not after waiting for some sex toy delivery from Lovehoney, finding a babysitter, or booking a vacation—so you can get closer ASAP.

You didn’t start in a sex rut, right? If there was a time when you might’ve been more of a take-me-on-the-kitchen-counter kind of girl. It's time to go there.

Yarian says that reminiscing about your sexual past with your partner can seriously perk up your sex life. He says you should talk about what you liked about that kitchen-sex phase of your relationship and all the juicy details you remember. By chatting about your favourite past sexcapades, you can fill him in on the things that made you feel most connected, says Yarian. Then, you can put those ideas back to work in the bedroom.

feet
Getty Images

Play this sexy foreplay game

One of the exercises Yarian uses with couples is what he calls the yin-yang game. Here's how it works: Set a timer for five minutes and choose who will be the "giver" and who will be the "receiver." Once the timer is set, the giver does whatever the receiver wants until their time is up. This might be a back rub, sexual touching, kissing, or whatever your lady business desires, he says. Once the timer is up, switch roles. "Repeat a few times, until the connection feels real," says Yarian.

While this exercise is definitely a great way to break out of your go-to foreplay rut, it also helps you practice being more mindful in both the giving and receiving roles, he says.

Sync your breath

If you don't have 20 minutes to dedicate to the yin-yang game, this quickie can get you riled up and super-connected in five minutes or less, says Yarian.

To get started, stand facing each other and hold each other closely. Then, close your eyes and attempt to sync your inhales and exhales together. "In order to do that, you tune into yourself and your partner to sync up," Yarian says. “It’s a fundamental skill in being intimate.”

If you get distracted (which you probably will), bring your focus back to the breathing. The byproduct of breathing is a calming feeling that creates another connection between you and your partner, says Yarian.

sync
Getty

Keep it hot in the long run

Though these tricks will get you on your way to more stimulating sex, the best thing you can do to break out of a sex rut is to talk to your partner about why you feel stuck in your sexual ways and what you'd like to do about it, says Yarian.

This article originally appeared on Women's Health US. 

RELATED: How To Deal With One Of The Most Common Issues Affecting Your Sex Life

  • Sex & Love
  • Relationships

FREE aim'n Fitness Pack-SAVE 25%

when you subscribe to Women's Health

Subscribe Now
FREE aim'n Fitness Pack

FREE aim'n Fitness Pack-SAVE 25%

when you subscribe to Women's Health

Subscribe Now
FREE aim'n Fitness Pack

Recommended to you

How Yahya Abdul-Mateen II Got God-Level Ripped for Watchmen
Watch 8:53

How Yahya Abdul-Mateen II Got God-Level Ripped for Watchmen

{headline}

{headline}

16 Male Erogenous Zones You Need Play With ASAP Tonight

16 Male Erogenous Zones You Need Play With ASAP Tonight

12 Ways To Feel Sexy AF Right This Very Second

12 Ways To Feel Sexy AF Right This Very Second

Your December Sex Horoscope Is Here, And Things Are Getting Hot And Heavy

Your December Sex Horoscope Is Here, And Things Are Getting Hot And Heavy

How To Break Through A Dry Spell—Whether You're Single Or Not

How To Break Through A Dry Spell—Whether You're Single Or Not

{headline}

{headline}

Study Finds Women Are More Attracted To Psychopaths

Study Finds Women Are More Attracted To Psychopaths

Everything You Need To Know About Make-Up Sex Before It Becomes A Habit

Everything You Need To Know About Make-Up Sex Before It Becomes A Habit

12 Couples On What Tipped Them Off That The Honeymoon Period Was Over

12 Couples On What Tipped Them Off That The Honeymoon Period Was Over

{headline}

{headline}

7 Short Guys Share How They *Really* Feel About Dating Taller Women

7 Short Guys Share How They *Really* Feel About Dating Taller Women

What Is A Karmic Relationship? 13 Signs You're In One And Need To GTFO

What Is A Karmic Relationship? 13 Signs You're In One And Need To GTFO

10 Little Things Connected Couples Do

10 Little Things Connected Couples Do

Therapists Share How Often The Happiest Couples Have Sex

Therapists Share How Often The Happiest Couples Have Sex

10 Couples Share The Details Of Their Hottest Sex Ever

10 Couples Share The Details Of Their Hottest Sex Ever

This Is How Long You Should Wait To Sleep With Someone You Want A Relationship With

This Is How Long You Should Wait To Sleep With Someone You Want A Relationship With

9 Ways To Set Healthy Boundaries In A Relationship

9 Ways To Set Healthy Boundaries In A Relationship

WomensHealth
  • About Us
  • Subscribe Today
  • Contact Us
  • Pacific Magazines
  • Partners
  • 7Plus
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Privacy Statement
WomensHealth Magazine Subscribe
  • About Us
  • Subscribe Today
  • Contact Us
  • Pacific Magazines
  • Partners
  • 7Plus
  • Terms and Conditions
  • Privacy Policy
  • Privacy Statement

Brands

  • Beauty Crew
  • Home Beautiful
  • Instyle
  • marie claire
  • Who

Pacific Network

  • Better Homes and Gardens
  • BHG Shop
  • New Idea food
  • New Idea
  • Men’s Health
  • Girlfriend
  • That’s Life
  • All Recipes
  • Practical Parenting
© 2019 Pacific Magazines
Get more from Women's Health

Magazine Subscription Offer

FREE aim'n Fitness Pack-SAVE 25%

Shop This Offer
FREE aim'n Fitness Pack