Injecting intimacy back into your sex life is all about knowing where to begin. And that starting point, according to certified sex therapist and somatic psychologist, Holly Richmond, PhD, is familiarising yourself with the sex positions that'll have you feeling the love again.
“Most of the time, if people feel like sex is intimate it’s because there’s connection,” says Richmond. The sex positions you opt for, whether they allow for more eye contact, tantric breathing, or touch, intensify the moment. These positions allow you to go beyond the sensory for a deeper emotional intimacy that allows you to tap into what your partner is feeling and vice versa.
If this all sounds a little out there, look at it this way: Some positions bring on emotions that others simply can’t. “These moves create a felt sense of safety, trust, and being seen,” says Richmond. Instead of wondering whether you’re moaning too loudly or still make your partner feel good, by finding your rhythm and taking your time once you're in that ideal position, you’ll notice your inhibitions melt away.
Reviving the intimacy in your sex life with the right positions is a gateway to reigniting that romantic fire you felt at the start of the relationship, when your connection felt rock solid. Scroll down for the intimate sex positions that will help you do just that and so much more.
Tell your partner to hold you closer, and whisper in their ear when they hit just the right spot while trying this intimate sex position. "This position is ideal for eye contact and proximity, plus there's a lot of your bodies touching each other," says Richmond. Bonus: If you're on top, while your partner holds you upright, you can use your free hands to stimulate their other erogenous zones.
Do It: Your partner sits on a chair or the edge of the bed; you face them, seated on their lap.
2. Pretzel Dip
With the pretzel dip, "you can look at each other and you're seeing a lot of each other's bodies," says Richmond, which allows you to better show your partner that you're actively engaged and tuning into what makes them feel good.
When it comes to pleasure, this position creates a bunch of opportunities for additional stimulation, namely clitoral (which most women need in order to orgasm) and anal. Each partner can reach over and show one another some extra TLC, making pleasure the main event.
Do It: Lie on your right side; your partner kneels, straddling your right leg and curling your left leg around their left side.
Great intimate sex often happens when your partner wants to focus all their attention on you. And G-Whiz is THE position for that (well, if penetration is your thing). "The receiving partner can relax, sink into pleasure," and trust their partner will make them feel good, says Richmond. "They can just lie back while their legs are supported, which allows them to touch themselves, or allows their partner to reach down and touch their clitoris or stimulate their nipples."
It also doesn't hurt that this position narrows the vagina which facilitates direct penis-to-G-spot contact as the partner on top either rocks their partner side to side or shifts their body up and down.
Do It: Lie back with your legs resting on each of your partner’s shoulders.
4. Magic Mountain
This move works best when both partners grind themselves against each other, making it all about mutual pleasure.
"This is a wonderful position for eye contact, to really look at each other, and read each other's body language and somatic cues, like what's feeling good for your partner and what's not," says Richmond.
Do It: Your partner sits, legs bent, leaning back on his hands and forearms. You do the same and then inch toward them until you make contact.
5. Ballet Dancer
Going for a move that you and your partner normally wouldn't, Richmond says, calls on you to rely on each other the entire time which is a trust-building exercise like no other. Whether you try Ballet Dancer up against a bedroom wall, in the kitchen, or in the shower, both partners have to be supportive, lean on each other (literally and figuratively), and embrace the whole way through.
Do It: Standing on one foot, face your partner and wrap your other leg around their waist while they help support you.
Doing something new is great and all, but there's also nothing wrong with a go-to move like missionary. By opting for ol' reliable, you and your partner can focus on your connection. You can talk dirty (or sweet), listen to each other, and ask your partner to touch you here and there, all while maintaining eye contact.
Do It: Lie on your back while your partner lies facedown on top of you.
7. Reverse Scoop
A full body tangle embrace? Nothing more intimate than that, says Richmond. From the missionary position, you and your partner can easily roll over into the reverse scoop and keep that locked gaze the entire time. The big difference? The partner who was on top no longer has to support their own weight and can more easily fondle the other while maintaining that connection, Richmond adds.
Do It: Without disengaging from the missionary position, turn together onto your sides.
8. The Seashell
Considering how deeply the person on top can penetrate their partner in this position, The Seashell calls for a ton of trust and communication, says Richmond. The partner on top has to be locked into exactly what their partner wants, whether that's grinding against her clitoris or adjusting a bit lower to hit the G-spot.
Do It: Lie back with your legs raised all the way up and your ankles crossed behind your own head. Your partner enters you or grinds against you as if you were doing the missionary position.
9. Butter Churner
Don't let this penetrative position intimidate you. Because of all that face time it allows for, you and your partner can communicate and keep an eye out for important cues the whole way through, says Richmond. As the partner on top gently moves up and down, they can also reach over and stimulate every other one of their partner's erogenous zones. At the same time, person on the bottom can tell their partner when to stop, keep going, and slow down so the feeling will last longer.
Do It: Lie on your back with your legs raised and folded over so that your ankles are on either side of your head, while your partner squats and dips their penis or strap-on in and out of your vagina.
10. The Pinball Wizard
If it's a feeling of support you're after, you've landed on the perfect intimate sex position. The partner who's kneeling has to brace their partner's legs to help them keep their balance. All the while, the other person has to trust their partner to keep holding them up and listen when they say to lower their hips, speed things up, slow things down, and what depth they like, says Richmond.
Do It: You get into a partial bridge position (like a pinball machine), with your weight resting on your shoulders. Your partner enters you or grinds against you from a kneeling position.
This article originally appeared on Women's Health US.