‘I Had A Baby And My Sex Life Totally Changed’
“A baby changes everything,” you’ve probably heard your mom, friends, and even Faith Hill proclaim.
And sure, it’s no secret that adding a tiny new human to your relationship can come with some major changes—both physically and emotionally.
Here, 10 real women share the biggest ways their relationships shifted after having a baby.
'IT BROUGHT US CLOSER TOGETHER'
"I’ve never been more in love with my husband than I am now. Now I’m in love with him and our baby." —Grace, 30
RELATED: 'Will A Baby Destroy My Sex Life? And 3 Other Things That Terrify Me About Becoming A Mother'
'I WAS SCARED TO JUMP BACK INTO SEX'
"Sex after a baby can be completely terrifying! I mean....do you know what just happened down there? For me, [after] a glass of wine and a romantic date, somehow those nerves melt away and it becomes easier to connect. You'll know when you're ready, and I promise you that it isn't as scary as it seems! It's kind of like ripping off a Band-Aid; the anticipation is terrible, but when you do it, you learn it's really not so bad!" —Shannon, 35
'MY PARTNER WAS A HUGE EMOTIONAL SUPPORT'
"I experienced a lot of depression after having my baby. Luckily, my partner was extremely supportive and helped get me through it.
"I could easily have been with someone who wasn’t as amazing and wound up screwed over in some way. We’re so much stronger now than we were before having kids. We had our second last year." —Maureen*, 37
'HAVING SEX AGAIN WAS SO PAINFUL'
"[My] husband and I were raring to [have sex after six weeks]. And it hurt. As soon as we started, I realised I forgot we were supposed to use lube. And then just as I told him I think we need to stop because it hurt too much, the baby started crying." —smc0551, Reddit
'OUR RELATIONSHIP FADED'
"I wasn’t ready to be pregnant, but it actually took being pregnant for me to realise that. I spent my entire pregnancy freaking out. After my daughter was born, my boyfriend and I tried to make it work for a while, but it was forced. The love had already been fading off, but once we were parents, it evaporated. We’re still close friends. We want to be the best co-parents for our daughter and so far it’s been good." —Molly, 29
'I WAS TERRIFIED MY HUSBAND WOULDN'T BE ATTRACTED TO ME'
“This may be TMI, but when I was pregnant I was really worried that my husband wouldn't find me attractive after having the baby or that having the baby vaginally would make it feel different. I was worried for nothing.
"The hardest thing in that department is having time together with the baby sleeping. Honestly, he is so much more loving towards me now than before in more ways than just sex. Keep going ladies, you're going to make it and have a wonderful little one at the end!” —embulbee, Reddit
RELATED: "I've Been Married To My Husband For 15 Years, And We Have Sex Almost Every Day"
'WE NEVER FIGURED OUT HOW TO ADJUST'
"My [relationship] changed completely. We never had time for each other. We only had time for the baby. Our son had colic so we had to pass him back and forth to each other until he was seven months old. Then my husband started going out without me and hanging out with his friends. Eventually, that’s how it happened. We fell apart and got a divorce." —Sheila, 54
'LUBE BECAME MY BEST FRIEND'
"Things were painful and uncomfortable for several months after having my son. I thought things would never go back to normal. And then I discovered aloe vera lube. It changed everything. My relationship was definitely suffering as a result of not having sex. Once we had lube in the picture, I think we got things back on track. I feel a lot better about things. I still plan to see my doctor again just to be sure everything has healed up and having sex isn’t doing damage." —Julia*, 28
'WE FELL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN'
"I had sex with my husband the day I got home from the hospital. I had C-sections so that was totally against the rules, but I didn’t care. Our relationship didn’t change. Having kids enhanced it. It made us so much more in love.
"We were sort of boring because we only wanted to be with each other because we only wanted to talk about the baby. But it didn’t matter to us. We are still so happy. As our kids have become adults, our relationship has grown even more." —Nicole*, 60
'OUR RELATIONSHIP IS NOW A WORK IN PROGRESS'
"We have a beautiful 4-month-old who has been the best thing to ever happen, I love being a mum so much! But since baby came along, our relationship has really suffered. I knew it was going to be hard, but didn't realise how hard." —hadia21, Reddit
Gigi Engle is a sex educator and writer living in Chicago. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter at @GigiEngle.
This article originally appeared on Women's Health US.
