Selma Blair was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis back in October. And now, she's opening up about what life is like with her illness.
"There is a truth with neurogedenerative brain disease. It is uncomfortable," she wrote on Instagram alongside a photo of herself in bed. "It is a stadium of uncontrollable anxiety at times. Going out, being sociable holds a heavy price."
According to Selma, who spent the weekend in New York City, that price is some less-than-pleasant feelings: "My brain is on fire. I am freezing," she wrote, adding that she "can't sleep at night," but that during the day, she has trouble staying awake.
But it's not all physical. Selma also opened up about the mental side of dealing with MS: "We feel alone with it even though the loving support has been a god send and appreciated."
Selma also said that people often ask her how she copes with her illness. "I do my best," she wrote. "But I choke with the pain of what I have lost and what I dare hope for and how challenging it is to walk around."
Difficulty walking is a common symptom of MS. The disease affects the central nervous system, basically inhibiting normal communication between the brain and the body—which means many people suffer from fatigue, difficulty walking, dizziness, and vertigo, according to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society.
Because of that, Selma now uses a cane to help her walk, according to another recent Instagram post. "My cane is also to alert people I may trip (likely) or fall or slur," she wrote.
Despite her symptoms, Selma says that her smiles are genuine. "This is OK. Life is an adventure with many shards of awakening," she wrote. "I have a full week ahead with mothering and appointments and things to look forward to. But like many of us, I am praying. Soaking in love where I can. It’s not easy. That’s OK."
This article originally appeared on Women's Health US.