WomensHealth
  • News
  • Health
  • Fitness
  • Sex & Love
  • Food
  • Lifestyle
  • Weight Loss
  • Women In Sport
  • Podcasts
  • Subscribe
  • Video
WomensHealth
  • News
  • Health
  • Fitness
  • Sex & Love
  • Food
  • Lifestyle
  • Weight Loss
  • Women In Sport
  • Podcasts
  • Subscribe
  • Video
This Simple, Effective Ab Workout Will Shred Your Six-Pack
Watch 0:23

This Simple, Effective Ab Workout Will Shred Your Six-Pack

{headline}

{headline}

Olympic Swimmer Brooke Hanson On The Immense Grief Of Burying A Child

Olympic Swimmer Brooke Hanson On The Immense Grief Of Burying A Child

Libby Trickett On The ‘Weird Guilt’ She Feels Remembering Her Miscarriage

Libby Trickett On The ‘Weird Guilt’ She Feels Remembering Her Miscarriage

Nicole Kidman Shares Her Heartbreak After Suffering Two Miscarriages

Nicole Kidman Shares Her Heartbreak After Suffering Two Miscarriages

Golf Star Jason Day And Wife Ellie Open Up About Their Tragic Miscarriage

Golf Star Jason Day And Wife Ellie Open Up About Their Tragic Miscarriage

{headline}

{headline}

Research Shows Suffering A Miscarriage May Trigger Long-Term PTSD

Research Shows Suffering A Miscarriage May Trigger Long-Term PTSD

Beyoncé Shares How Her Miscarriage Helped Redefine What She Views As Success

Beyoncé Shares How Her Miscarriage Helped Redefine What She Views As Success

Candice Warner On How She Recovered After Miscarriages

Candice Warner On How She Recovered After Miscarriages

{headline}

{headline}

Whitney Port On The Guilt She Felt After Suffering From A Miscarriage

Whitney Port On The Guilt She Felt After Suffering From A Miscarriage

Pink Shares Her Heartbreak After Suffering From A Miscarriage At Just 17

Pink Shares Her Heartbreak After Suffering From A Miscarriage At Just 17

The Bachelor's Matty J And Laura Byrne Open Up About Suffering A Heartbreaking Miscarriage

The Bachelor's Matty J And Laura Byrne Open Up About Suffering A Heartbreaking Miscarriage

Michelle Obama Shares Her Heartbreak After Suffering A Miscarriage

Michelle Obama Shares Her Heartbreak After Suffering A Miscarriage

Lily Allen Bravely Details 'Incredibly Traumatic' Stillbirth Of Her Son

Lily Allen Bravely Details 'Incredibly Traumatic' Stillbirth Of Her Son

AFL star Gary Rohan And Wife Amie Share Their Heartbreak At Losing Their Unborn Twin

AFL star Gary Rohan And Wife Amie Share Their Heartbreak At Losing Their Unborn Twin

The Heartbreaking Reason Why Radio Star Em Rusciano Is Not On The Air Today

The Heartbreaking Reason Why Radio Star Em Rusciano Is Not On The Air Today

  1. Home
  2. Health

Returning To Work While Grieving A Miscarriage

Your 5-step action plan for working through loss. - by Erica M. McAfee
  • 15 Aug 2018
Returning To Work While Grieving A Miscarriage
Getty

“As I prepare my heart and mind for returning to work I can't but wonder how my life would be with an infant. I forgot to unsubscribe to Baby Center, and they sent me an email reminder that the baby I thought I would be holding in my arms is no longer here. Will I be strong enough? Can I handle the pressure and stress of work? Will people treat me differently? How will I feel? These are some of the thoughts that go through my mind when I think about returning for work. I've loathed in self-pity, blamed myself for everything that I did and did not do right, and cried every day. Now that I have to go back to work will I have a break down and cry all day?”

Grief is the natural response to any loss. The exert above is a personal journey entry as I prepared to return to work after the death of my newborn son at birth. I grieved over my baby boy for 8 weeks before returning to work. My body was physically healed from the emergency caesarean, but my spirit and mind were not. The loss of a child is arguably the most intense loss of life and people rarely know how to respond to this. Whether you have experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth or the death of a child or infant, returning to work while you are still grieving is difficult. As a fellow Sister in Loss here's my advice on how best to go about it.

RELATED: Women Have More Miscarriages Than Babies During Their Lifetime

1. Unsubscribe to parenting websites and apps

Nothing like a push notification to remind you of your grief. As you prepare your heart and mind, delete all pregnancy apps and unsubscribe from parenting websites. This will save you the anxiety of being reminded of your loss when you’re least expecting it.

grief

2. Therapy is key

The Employee Assistance Program (or EAP) through your employer’s insurance is a great resource and will help direct you to therapists in your network. Mental health carries a significant stigma in the African American community, as many do not think therapy is a valid way to deal with trauma. For me, it helped me to see the light during my darkest moments, and the biggest thing I learned was how to respond to other people around me as I prepared to go back to work. If you are seeking someone who understands the mental health stigma in the black community, Therapy for Black Girls is a podcast/database worth checking out.

3. Take it slow

Taking time to grieve is easier said than done. Please remember you are not the same person as before (how could you be after such a traumatic experience!) You may have left work visibly pregnant or perhaps your coworkers weren’t aware you were expecting. Whatever your situation, take the time you need and transition back into work slowly. Your supervisor and job may let you work part-time for a period or let you work from home as you learn to navigate your new normal.

RELATED: How To Cope With The Loss Of A Loved One

sick
Getty

4. Ask for help

It’s important to seek support from your coworkers and friends (not just your boss.) Tell your supervisor or manager about your recent experience and ask them for grace during this time. Look for counsel in a friend or trusted coworker whenever you are feeling down and need someone to talk to. Do not suppress your feelings of grief at work! If you have to cry, go into the restroom. Then, come back out when you’re ready to tackle the day.

5. Forgive people for their responses

The hardest part about coming back to work after your miscarriage or infant loss is dealing with those people who did not know about your pregnancy until now. And often, they won’t know the “proper” words to say to console you - they are just trying to do their best to make conversation and for it to not feel awkward. Therapy taught me to let those not-so-comforting” responses such as, “heaven gained another angel,” or, “God is going to bless you with two more,” to roll off my shoulders. If your coworkers admit they don’t know what to say to you, just tell them you want to hear your babies name or simply listen to you talk about your experience. Sometimes this can be all you need to bring you comfort during those first few days and weeks back at work.

Please make sure when you do go back to work you are honest with yourself. If you are still grieving and mourning, recognise those feelings and where you are at with your journey. You have to be able to tackle those feelings of grief head-on so that your grief won’t hinder you from doing what you are paid to do. 

depression
Getty

RELATED: What To Say To Somebody Who Has Had A Miscarriage

  • Health
  • Lifestyle
  • Pregnancy
  • Parenting
  • Mental Health
Erica M. McAfee
Erica M. McAfee
Erica M. McAfee is a Virginia-bred and based special needs and lifestyle blogger, podcast host, and grief & pregnancy loss coach. She's also a chemical engineer, who loves the colour purple and listening to Podcasts and audiobooks.

Subscribe Now-

Subscribe Now
Subscribe Now

Subscribe Now-

Subscribe Now
Subscribe Now

Recommended to you

This Simple, Effective Ab Workout Will Shred Your Six-Pack
Watch 0:23

This Simple, Effective Ab Workout Will Shred Your Six-Pack

{headline}

{headline}

Olympic Swimmer Brooke Hanson On The Immense Grief Of Burying A Child

Olympic Swimmer Brooke Hanson On The Immense Grief Of Burying A Child

Libby Trickett On The ‘Weird Guilt’ She Feels Remembering Her Miscarriage

Libby Trickett On The ‘Weird Guilt’ She Feels Remembering Her Miscarriage

Nicole Kidman Shares Her Heartbreak After Suffering Two Miscarriages

Nicole Kidman Shares Her Heartbreak After Suffering Two Miscarriages

Golf Star Jason Day And Wife Ellie Open Up About Their Tragic Miscarriage

Golf Star Jason Day And Wife Ellie Open Up About Their Tragic Miscarriage

{headline}

{headline}

Research Shows Suffering A Miscarriage May Trigger Long-Term PTSD

Research Shows Suffering A Miscarriage May Trigger Long-Term PTSD

Beyoncé Shares How Her Miscarriage Helped Redefine What She Views As Success

Beyoncé Shares How Her Miscarriage Helped Redefine What She Views As Success

Candice Warner On How She Recovered After Miscarriages

Candice Warner On How She Recovered After Miscarriages

{headline}

{headline}

Whitney Port On The Guilt She Felt After Suffering From A Miscarriage

Whitney Port On The Guilt She Felt After Suffering From A Miscarriage

Pink Shares Her Heartbreak After Suffering From A Miscarriage At Just 17

Pink Shares Her Heartbreak After Suffering From A Miscarriage At Just 17

The Bachelor's Matty J And Laura Byrne Open Up About Suffering A Heartbreaking Miscarriage

The Bachelor's Matty J And Laura Byrne Open Up About Suffering A Heartbreaking Miscarriage

Michelle Obama Shares Her Heartbreak After Suffering A Miscarriage

Michelle Obama Shares Her Heartbreak After Suffering A Miscarriage

Lily Allen Bravely Details 'Incredibly Traumatic' Stillbirth Of Her Son

Lily Allen Bravely Details 'Incredibly Traumatic' Stillbirth Of Her Son

AFL star Gary Rohan And Wife Amie Share Their Heartbreak At Losing Their Unborn Twin

AFL star Gary Rohan And Wife Amie Share Their Heartbreak At Losing Their Unborn Twin

The Heartbreaking Reason Why Radio Star Em Rusciano Is Not On The Air Today

The Heartbreaking Reason Why Radio Star Em Rusciano Is Not On The Air Today

WomensHealth
  • Contact Us
  • About Paragon Media
  • Terms of Use
  • Privacy Statement
  • Contact Paragon Media
  • Contact Us
  • About Paragon Media
  • Terms of Use
  • Privacy Statement
  • Contact Paragon Media

Brands

Our Network

  • Paragon Media Pty Ltd
  • Men’s Health
© 2021 Are Media PTY LTD
Get more from

Magazine Subscription Offer

Subscribe Now-

Shop This Offer
Subscribe Now