9 Men Reveal What Made Them Regret Breaking Up With Their Exes

by | Feb 21, 2019

If you’ve ever broken up with someone, you know it sucks. It’s hard to move on from a relationship and say goodbye to someone you previously had (or still have) feelings for. Sometimes, you know if your heart that breaking up was the right call, even if it was tough to do. Other times, you end up seriously regretting your decision.

These men have all been there. Here, they share the moments they’ve regretted breaking up with someone and not giving the relationship more time and attention.

This guy never communicated properly.

“Months later, after dating and having relationship-based conversations with other women, I realised that I didn’t give the relationship a fair chance or fight hard enough. When I was finally able to see beyond my own ego, I realised that I failed to communicate openly and honestly about my true feelings for her and the situation we were in. I became the source of her hurt and pain, her heart becoming guarded and her scepticism of other men. Those are the things that I regretted not too long after we broke up, not to mention what the future could’ve been like.” –Vance

RELATED: How Long Does It Really Take To Get Over An Ex?

This guy wished he had someone to share his adventures with.

“I remember being in London, travelling alone after a break-up. As I was walking through all that history, I kept wishing I had someone to share it with. The only person I wanted to be with in that moment was the girl I just dumped. I called her from a payphone in London to hear her voice and to ask her to take me back, or at least wait for me until I came home. We’ve been together ever since (22 years), and now we go on every adventure together.” —Adam

This guy regretted it the second she walked away.

“The moment of my regret … was when she turned her back to walk away from me, in tears. At that moment I realised my mistake. After several days of calling her, [I found] out she had moved back to Michigan. Leaving no forwarding contact information, I was heartbroken for years and still think of her to this day. To this day, no luck finding her on any social media outlets.” —Robert

This guy took his partner for granted.

“Broke up with her because of little flaws that bothered me … and then when I started dating other people, I realised that they had so many more things that were dealbreakers or not fun to be around. They didn’t have good conversations, not as sexual, just lacked in stuff [my ex and I] had. I realised I really couldn’t do that much better because she was great and I didn’t appreciate her enough.” —Doug

This guy wasn’t the kind of partner he should have been.

“I didn’t think she’d be a type of girl I’d marry, and we didn’t have as much in common as I wanted, but I realised it was because I wouldn’t let her in that much and didn’t put in a lot of effort to do things together or share in each other’s interests. Didn’t give the relationship a chance to actually work and looking back I think it would’ve because we had a lot in common and always liked being with each other. Shouldn’t have written it off.” – Mark*

This guy regretting things when he saw his ex with another guy.

“I am still following her Instagram account and I saw a photo with another dude who was pretty good-looking and they seemed happy. I knew she had moved on, and that is when I started to really regret what I did because I was the one who wouldn’t commit to her when she was ready and great. And now she is married to that guy…so there’s that.” —Damian*

The way this guy’s ex handled the breakup make him realise he shouldn’t have ended it.

“All my other ex-girlfriends have cried like crazy or yelled at me or we got in a big fight and the break-up didn’t end well. We walked away not liking each other and having bad feelings. But with this girl, she took it with understanding—I wasn’t ready and wanted to focus on myself and not have a GF then—and she gave me a hug and said how she valued our relationship and she was there if I needed her. That’s when I knew I lost a really great girl.” —Miles

This guy misses how affectionate his ex was.

“I miss the way my ex used to touch my hair and just curl up next to me. She would always want to touch me and be affectionate, and my new girlfriend doesn’t do that. To be honest, I really regret breaking up with my ex and I am thinking of reaching out to see how she is doing. Maybe we can get back together.” —Rob*

No One Gets Humour Like She Did

“All the girls I had dated since my ex didn’t get my sense of humour like she did … So I actually reached out to her a month or so after we broke up and she was nice enough to give me another chance and we are still together and I am thankful. I missed her a lot.” —Rick

*Some names have been changed to allow subjects to speak freely on private matters.

This article originally appeared on Men’s Health US. 

RELATED: 13 Break Up Stories That Will Haunt You Forever

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With October marking International Pregnancy Loss Awareness Month, we spoke to survivor of multiple miscarriages and women's health lobbyist Samantha Payne, CEO and Co-Founder of Pink Elephants - Australia’s only national support service dedicated solely to miscarriage and early pregnancy loss.

Here's her story.

What is your experience with miscarriage?

I have lost 3 babies to miscarriage, my first was a missed miscarriage - I walked into a scan expecting to show my then-toddler her baby sibling on the screen only to be met with 'I'm sorry there is no heartbeat.' I had to endure a weekend with that baby dead inside of me before I could be fitted in for a D&C.

My next miscarriage happened 6 months later - I started to bleed on holiday with friends, I told no one, I was deeply ashamed. I passed that baby alone in the shower at 3am, forever traumatised as I had to flush the remains down the toilet.

My final loss was just last year another miscarriage I started to spot and I just knew, the Doctor that saw me this time asked if we could see a flicker on the screen she thought there was a heartbeat, astounded we asked for a second opinion, where it was confirmed my baby had died.

How did you process the trauma?

With my first two losses, I didn't cope. I poured everything into Pink Elephants and having another baby. I had another pregnancy but was completely terrified the whole time, I didn't bond with this baby, no names, no gender reveal, wearing a brave face every day pretending I was grateful. When Johnny was 4 months old it all caught up with me: I had postpartum anxiety and post-traumatic stress as a result of my losses and not processing the trauma. With counselling and medication, I began to heal and process my losses. My loss last year was different: I took bereavement leave, I gave myself permission to grieve our baby girl and mourn my future with her. I spoke with others in our community, I went back to counselling, and I took the time I needed to start to heal.

How did you get the courage to launch Pink Elephants?

I don't think it was courage, in the beginning, I think it was my anger at the lack of support and validation that I chose to channel into something positive.

I never want my daughter to go through what I did in the way I did. Women deserve so much more than what we currently get.

Last year took courage to come back and work in this space again after bereavement leave - the physical and emotional pain was real, the triggers of other women's stories are real but they are also cathartic. As is the change we create, I feel like my work is meaningful and makes a difference that's what carries me on, I know we can do so much more with the right support alongside us.

I want to next see more targeted action from our government - in particular the Department of Health - in addressing this issue. It's no longer ok to turn a blind eye to the death of our babies, our trauma, and our poor mental health because of the system failing us.

How can we support a friend that has been through loss like this?

You can be there for her, you can validate her loss, don't reduce it to 'at least' comments. You can't take away her pain but you can provide a safe space for her to share and feel listened to, empathised with, and supported. Like any other bereavement send flowers, we have collaborated on a LVLY nurture flower posy as a way to do this. Remember there is no timeline to grief and it's ok for her to still be upset for many months after, remember her due date, acknowledge it at the time, support her through other friends' baby showers.

How can women experiencing miscarriage access support?

They can head to www.pinkelephants.org.au to access our circle of support, which includes online peer support communities to connect with others through miscarriage, trying to conceive again, and pregnancy after loss. Specialised emotional support content, as well as shared stories and journeys, can be accessed through our website too.