Imagine then, when you have overcome all of those things that get in the way of mummy and daddy re-connecting, that things just don’t feel the same.
Where once you may have had no trouble reaching orgasm with your partner, now, it’s just not happening. Could it be that your beautiful little baby has ruined all of that desire to be together or could there be something else?
The short answer is yes, it could very much be something else. Especially if you had a vaginal delivery.
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Why does sex feel so different after child birth?
Lets get into a little anatomy.
Most women who have had a baby have heard the term "pelvic floor", though we don’t often know exactly what it does and how we could benefit from being more aware.
Your pelvic floor is a group of muscles that sit within your pelvis. They are responsible for supporting the organs of your pelvis (bladder, uterus, rectum) when they come under load (jumping, coughing, sneezing, laughing). They help to prevent prolapse (any one of the pelvic organs falling in to the vagina), keep you continent and yes, you guessed it, enable you to have an orgasm – who knew!?
Your pelvic floor muscles are split into two sets of muscles – the deep pelvic floor sits inside your bony pelvis, supporting your organs and keeping your bladder in the best position to remain continent. The superficial pelvic floor sits around the entrance to your vagina, integrates into your perineum (the bit between your vagina and anus), wraps around your clitoris. The superficial pelvic floor must be able to contract in order to create a clitoral orgasm.
During childbirth the muscles of the pelvic floor can be stretched and damaged, and in some women this leads to the inability to experience an orgasm. This, in turn, can leave women wondering why and potentially impact the relationship she has with her partner.
RELATED: 5 Tips For Strengthening Your Pelvic Floor Post-Baby
So what can you do about it?
As fitness professionals, when we work with post-natal women in an exercise environment we know that our work goes much further than just the movements they are doing. Helping mums to move, to understand and to respect their body again has an impact on their physical, social, emotional and sexual health, and every aspect is important to consider.
So, if you are a woman who isn’t experiencing the same sex life that you once had before children came along, this may be for you. We know kid-life will definitely impact in some way but if you know deep down that maybe something might be wrong physically, I highly recommend you seek out the help of an experienced women’s health physiotherapist and request a pelvic floor assessment to make sure that everything is working well, from the inside out.
Who knows, a couple of appointments, some pelvic floor rehab (and a few kid-free moments) could leave you very thankful.
I believe in starting the conversations women need to be having – if you have learned something in this article that you feel might help another woman in your life please share the love. Together we can create ripples and change the lives of many.
RELATED: ‘I Had A Baby And My Sex Life Totally Changed’
Jen Dugard's Body Beyond Baby is the go-to place online for women to find mum-focused fitness services that are all accredited, experienced and partnered with women’s health physios so you know you are in very safe hands.
