Older Women What It’s Really Like To Date A Younger Man

3 Women Share What It’s Really Like To Date A Younger Man

The 2010s have turned the notion of a “normal” couple on its head: Marriage reform redefined what a legally recognised household can look like, age at first marriage continues to rise, trans couples have entered the public consciousness, and egg freezing has enabled more women to put off “settling down” and stay single into their […]

by | May 29, 2017

The 2010s have turned the notion of a “normal” couple on its head: Marriage reform redefined what a legally recognised household can look like, age at first marriage continues to rise, trans couples have entered the public consciousness, and egg freezing has enabled more women to put off “settling down” and stay single into their forties and beyond. So earlier this year, when the rumour mill buzzed that J.Lo, 47, was reportedly romantically involved with Drake, 30, critics lost their collective minds, slinging insults like “cradle robber” and “desperate.” It all felt so petty, especially considering she’s dated younger men for years

We talked with three different women about their experiences dating younger men to share what it’s REALLY like. Turns out, age is nothing but a number…most of the time. Here’s what they had to say: 

RELATED: Should I Tell My Boyfriend I Cheated On My Ex?


Danielle, 35: The baby convo can’t wait.

“Our decision to get married quickly came from us wanting to start a family,” says Danielle, who was 32 when she began dating her husband Jeremy, then 24. Danielle had watched friends struggle with infertility, which “sped up our process,” she says. The two were married and expecting within a year.

In retrospect, Jeremy’s age counterintuitively made Danielle feel at ease broaching the baby subject early. “With him being so young, I wasn’t expecting him to want a committed relationship anyway, so I wasn’t so worried about what he thought of my life goals right at first,” she says. “But it turned out he wanted the same things.” (Still, “friends and family were weird about him at the start,” Danielle says, doubting that Jeremy was a solid prospect. So much so that Danielle admits she found it easier to lie about Jeremy’s age to some loved ones at that point.) The couple was smart in talking about family plans as soon as they become exclusive, says Alpert. “Discussing it can highlight differences in wants and needs, but it’s better to learn those things sooner rather than realize there’s a lack of compatibility when you’re deeper into it.”

Danielle and Jeremy’s age difference does have an effect on their parenting roles. Because Jeremy is still building his career, he has less flexibility in his job and he can’t spend as much time at home as he’d like. On the flip side, Danielle says, “There are benefits to having a younger husband—he has so much energy! He can keep up with our toddler.”

Amanda, 38: The right guy will make you feel sexy at any age.

“He’s someone who looks at a picture of Sharon Stone and says, ‘Wow, she’s hot!'” says Amanda of her 29-year-old boyfriend, Sebastian. “So I think his tastes tend to run toward maturity.” Younger men have grown up in a society that’s increasingly progressive when it comes to sexual preferences, explains Alpert. “We’ve become less judgmental, clearing the path for young people to pursue relationships once considered taboo.”

Sure, there are moments when Amanda feels insecure about being the oldest woman in the room—mostly, she says, when that room is full of Sebastian’s friends’ girlfriends, who are all his age or younger. (One of them, she recalls, asked her a series of questions that were clearly in pursuit of calculating her age.) But the fact that Sebastian reassures her—”He shows me that he’s proud to be with me by being physically affectionate with me in public,” she says—makes it easy for her not to dwell on those thoughts.

RELATED: So People With These Jobs Are More Likely To Cheat

Kim, 49: Your careers and finances may not line up.

Costume designer Kim has nine more years of work experience than her 40-year-old husband Drew, a screenwriter. “That’s a big deal because time equals experience equals confidence,” says Kim, who found her calling early, while Drew switched professions a few years ago, making the gap in their professional accomplishments—and salaries—feel even wider. What works for them in bridging the divide? Depositing equal sums into a shared account each year—and tapping their individual savings to surprise each other with dates and vacations. There was also a happy discovery: Kim found that being with someone professionally green has its perks. “Seeing Drew’s motivation has helped me reflect on what I want to tweak in my career to recapture that enthusiasm,” she says.

Early on, the couple had to overcome another hurdle: When Drew first moved in with Kim, she was living in a house she’d bought 15 years prior. She felt uncomfortable asking him to contribute to her mortgage because she’d purchased the place before they’d ever met. It also didn’t feel like “their” home. So Kim and Drew decided to sell and move into a new place that they found together. They were smart to “take a future-focused perspective,” says Koblenz. In cases of financial disparity, whether it’s a recurring money fight or an investment that doesn’t serve the partnership well, “try not to get caught up in what has already happened and address what you can do moving forward to avoid the same conflict.”

This article originally appeared on Women’s Health Mag

Recommended to you

8 Of The Best Exercise Shorts That Will Power You Through A Summer Of Movement

It’s official: Shorts Season is officially here. While lockdown has seen many of us realise that activewear is less something to be worn for a workout and more a uniform we choose to do any and all daily activities in, when the warmer temperatures roll around, that favourite pair of sweatpants and leggings sometimes don’t cut it. Sure, they might be a staple in any wardrobe, but the Aussie sun doesn’t listen to reason, no matter how comfortable or cute it might be. And when it comes to summer, working out in leggings can feel like being trapped in a sauna, the sweat pooling at your ankles and around the waistband – as well as those other areas we won’t mention here. 

But as we transition from leggings to shorts, it becomes clear pretty quickly that not all shorts are created equal, and certainly not all shorts are fit for a workout. Take it from us at Women’s Health HQ, we’ve been there, tried it and lived to see the consequences. From the shorts that look cute but ride up to show your undies on the run, to those that feel like being strapped into a harness that’s digging into your hip bones. Then there are the fabrics that can cause chafing – a big no – and those that basically shine a spotlight on any area you might be sweating. 

Thankfully, a number of brands are here to cater to your exercise needs with innovative materials, fabrics and sustainable options to see you through a summer of movement. Regardless of your workout preferences or daily activity, we’ve selected the best shorts that will ensure you feel good in your body, shorts that get you excited to embrace the day and attack it with energy, that make you want to get outside and enjoy the outdoors, whether it be walking, running, or socialising in the park. Here are our pick of the best bike shorts below. 


Uptown Biker, $240

What says summer more than a pop of orange and the sleek shape of these Nagnata biker shorts? With its mid-length and horizontal raised rib side detail, these are shorts you can wear both for a workout and out to meet the girls. Made in Australia with a technical knit fabrication, the double-layer jacquard provides gentle sculpting qualities for the body, making it an excellent choice for light to moderate fitness activities like yoga, pilates or barre. 

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.defineSlot(gamData.adUnit, [300, 250], 'gam_midarticle_pos2_3') .defineSizeMapping(gamData.sizeMap.midarticle) .setTargeting('pos', '2') .addService(googletag.pubads()); googletag.display('gam_midarticle_pos2_3'); });

New Balance

Q Speed Fuel Short, $70

We love the colour of these shorts from New Balance which are cut with a sleek, speedy look that also helps to elongate the legs. Featuring NB DRY moisture wicking fabric, these are the shorts you want for high intensity exercise or long runs, keeping you comfortable and dry. There’s also an interior brief for added comfort and a stash pocket to keep your essentials. 

All Access

Ultra High Rise Zip Front Biker Short, $78

Yes, the colour is amazing but the fit is equally sensational on these All Access shorts. For those who love a high-rise fit and wide waistband that holds you in at the waist, look no further. The sleek, shiny look offers mid-compression and the fabric is moisture-wicking, so you can stay comfortable even during your sweatiest workouts. 


Nike x Naomi Osaka Utility Short, $90

Few things are worse than heading out the door for a run and realising your shorts offer no pockets for those essentials you need. You’re left to hold your iPhone, keys, and anything else you might need in your sweaty palm. Thankfully, Naomi Osaka knows what we need when it comes to exercise shorts and these utility shorts from her collaboration with Nike offer all that and more with a relaxed fit and elastic waistband. 


Session short Tights, $72

When it comes to bike shorts, you want to feel supported and held in but you also want to be able to breathe. These Tracksmith session short tights are exceptional in offering support while still ensuring comfort remains a priority. Forget about chafing, these shorts won’t ride up and down and the fabric offers more coverage and support against the body. 

Outdoor Voices

Relay 3” Short, $48

Who said summer shorts have to be boring? Outdoor Voices brings fashion-forward style and playfulness to their collections with fun prints and exciting colours. We love the relay 3” shorts for their ultralight, quick-drying fabric that also happens to be made from recycled polyester. But more importantly, we love the print and Poppy Swirl is as good as it gets. There’s even a hidden pocket for your valuables, too. 


Align High-Rise Short 6”, $69

If you’re familiar with the buttery-soft feel of Lululemon’s tights, you’ll want to get your hands on a pair of their shorts, too. Made with the same Nulu fabric that their tights are known for, these shorts feel weightless and super soft. They might be our go-to staple for any workout, but the feel is so second-skin that it’s hard to not wear them for every other activity, too. 

Spiritual Gangster

Seamless Biker Short, $112

These biker shorts from Spiritual Gangster move with you, thanks to a three-tiered compressive waistband that offers a flattering high waist that hugs you in all the right places, without proving constrictive. They offer medium compression but are built for all day comfort, and the colour is a true summer staple because, let’s face it, who doesn’t love tie-dye?