There’s no shortage of woman posting empowering postpartum pictures encouraging women to love their bodies.
But for Jessica McCoy, that’s not possible right now.
In a heartbreaking Instagram post, the 27-year-old explains the pain she feels every time she looks at her body after her pregnancy loss.
“Every day I get clothes on and they’re tight,” she wrote. “And every day I’m reminded that I grew my baby for six months and she died.”
McCoy reveals looking at her body only makes it harder.
“I think I would've been okay if Evie was here, although she would've likely still been cooking inside me,” she writes. “The fact that I am bigger than I normally am and don't have my baby makes it harder."
“Looking in the mirror at my uncovered body hurts.”
Speaking to the Huffington Post, McCoy said: “I’ve never seen anyone post about their feelings toward their body after pregnancy loss."
"I’ve seen so many body positive posts by women celebrating their body because it grew their beautiful child. And I fully support that, but at this time, I don’t feel that. I feel anger toward my body. I feel like I can’t trust it. I feel broken. And every time I look in the mirror, or put clothes on, it’s a reminder that my sweet girl is gone."
This article originally appeared on New Idea.