How to Learn to Love Your Body, No Matter Your Size - Women's Health

How to Learn to Love Your Body, No Matter Your Size

Because every body is a summer body.

by | Oct 14, 2021

By confidence coach Erika Cramer.

Warmer weather is right on our doorstep, and you know what that means: a bunch of messages in the media, on socials and everywhere else in between telling us it’s time to shape up for summer. My definition of a bikini body is literally the body you have now. The idea that you have to look a certain way or fit into a certain mould, just to be able to enjoy the beach or a splash in the pool with your kids is total BS. 

But I know it’s hard to keep hold of that ideal, when you’re bombarded with images and messages telling you to hide your flaws, cover up your stretch marks and avoid showing off your body until it’s picture perfect. So, it’s time to feel your best and embrace you, flaws and all. Here’s how:

1. Love your ‘today body’.

Understand that sending hate to your current “as-is” body will not help you in changing it or getting results. Being okay with your ‘today body’ is step one in wanting to change it – it’s like your arrival at the airport before you take off on a trip. You can’t get anywhere if you don’t start at the beginning, which means making peace with the current reality of your body. Give your today body acceptance, understanding and love – literally warts and all. So how do you do that? It leads me to my next point…

2. Pick one thing you love.

No matter how body conscious you are, there’s got to be one part of “you” that you don’t hate. Choose a specific area of your body that you love or you enjoy. For instance: you may love your eyes, you know that you have a great smile, or you appreciate that your legs are strong and help you move around each day. Maybe you have beautiful hands, with lovely long fingers and pretty nails. Or your hair is really thick and healthy. Choose to focus on the areas you DO love already. Pay attention to what is already working well for you in your today body and appreciate that.

3. Stop the BS affirmations.

This one may be controversial, but trust me, it’s important. When you don’t love your body and you want to change it for whatever reason, repeating affirmations like “I love my body” can actually do more harm than good (toxic positivity, anyone?). It’s much more powerful to find an affirmation or a thought that you actually believe in. For example: “I am learning to love my body”. Or “I am on my way to loving my body and I appreciate what it does for me every day”. These are actually true statements, and help you step towards total body acceptance. When you are being honest and helpful, your subconscious will get these messages and look to find what else it loves about your body.

4. Unfollow the perfection narrative.

It’s pretty simple, yet one of the biggest mistakes we make is following accounts and narratives that don’t make us feel good. This one is super important, as we live in the world of social media and it can literally be the reason we feel so insecure about ourselves on the daily. Most of us don’t use social media the right way, hence the constant comparison and feeling inadequate. So right now, grab your phone and UNFOLLOW every single account or influencer that makes you feel bad about yourself. Stop paying attention to the narrative that you aren’t skinny, pretty, rich or good enough, and start following accounts that make you feel good. 

5. Lastly – be kind to you. 

It’s not just about your body – it’s about you overall. Your mind, body and spirit. If you only see yourself as a body, you miss out on all that you are and the abilities you have. Your body will 100% change (spoiler alert) for many reasons and instead of being hard on yourself, know that your life is about so much more than just the clothing size you wear. Send your body some love, ask it to forgive you for the ways in which you have treated it, and thank it for walking you around and holding you up. It deserves your love and care no matter the size you are today. Things will change and your appreciation for it will make the biggest impact of all. 

Erika Cramer, The Queen of Confidence, is an award-winning international confidence coach and host of the 5 star-rated Confidence Chronicles Podcast. After surviving many traumatic experiences, Erika is a real example of how you can heal your personal story to transform trauma into triumph and now leads a global movement to empower women.  She is also the author of the new book, Confidence Feels Like Sh!t. Find out more about Erika at

Recommended to you

More From