"The 'male G-Spot' is the prostate and it's about two inches in the rectum toward the belly," explains sex educator Susan Milstein. That's because the prostate contains a ton of nerve endings (in fact, there are almost as many nerve endings in the prostate as there are in the clitoris).
"It really can open up a whole new avenue of pleasure for men if they are willing to try it," adds Milstein.
In fact, while many men are wary of anal stimulation, sales of prostate massagers have been on the rise in recent years. According to data from the pleasure product company HealthyAndActive, prostate massager sales have increased by 56% over the past five years, particularly among straight men over the age of 45.
Men can even have prostate orgasms without stimulation to the penis.
"The orgasm from your prostate is a full body orgasm, and you feel a tingly sensation all over. This is opposed to the more isolated and direct pleasure from a regular orgasm through masturbation or penetration. In general, a prostate orgasm requires more time to warm up and more energy. But it's totally worth it," says Chris, a sex educator at The Pleasure Chest in Los Angeles.
In order to ensure a comfortable and safe prostate massage experience with your partner, it's important to follow these steps.
1) Be prepared
If you're trying prostate massage on a partner, make sure your hands are clean and free of jagged hangnails. Perhaps most importantly, "always use lube, as the anus does not self lubricate. If putting something in your rectum hurts, slow down and add more lube," says Chris. He recommends a syringe-like applicator called a lube shooter if you're uncomfortable applying lube with your fingers.
2) Take baby steps
Before going in, start with a gentle external massage on their perineum, which is located between the testicles and anus.
3) Explore internal stimulation
If the external massage feels good, curve your (at this point, lubed-up) finger into his rectum towards your belly button. "Two or so inches in, you should be able to feel your prostate," says Chris.
It's important to note that you really don't have to go much further than that, particularly on your first try. "People think you need to shove a whole hand up there, but that's not how it works," says Milstein. "Insert one finger a few inches into your anus and push up toward the rear. Wiggle it around a bit, tap the inner walls, and apply different amounts of pressure to see what feels good to you."
4) Try a prostate massager
Before exploring prostate massagers, you might want to start with a butt plug to get used to the ideas. Proper prostate massagers are designed differently in order to reach the male G-spot — the prostate.
"You always want to buy one with a tail or a wide base that it doesn't get lost up there. You don't want to end up in the 'Butt Bin' at the ER where they keep objects found in people's rectums," jokes Milstein.
This article originally appeared on Men's Health