1. Be confident when you're having sex
If being on top makes you anxious, join the club. A study in the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health found 36 per cent of women worry during sex that their body looks unattractive. According to Desiree Spierings, Director of Sexual Health Australia, this can influence your desire to be sexual with your partner – so boost your body image by stopping negative self-talk and focusing on what you like about it.
“Fantasise about sex a few times a day and visualise yourself in various positions,” Spierings says. And follow this mantra: candlelight is kinder.
2. How to do the cowgirl position
Nail the right position from the outset and you won’t have to take a break when your legs get too sore. “Make sure you’re on your knees, rather than squatting, to ease some of the pressure on your legs,” says Women's Health magazine sex expert Jacqueline Hellyer. Anchor yourself onto your partner by tucking your toes under his thighs – “When you’re positioned tight you have more strength and are able to move more easily,” Hellyer says. As for your hands, get a good grip by leaning forward onto his shoulders, chest or the bedhead. Now hold on tight...
3. Find a rhythm
If you suffer from an inverted uterus or endometriosis, deep thrusting can be quite painful.
To make things more enjoyable for you, experiment – you get to call the shots when it comes to things like depth and movement, although “it’s difficult for women to be in that position and be hugely vigorous,” says Hellyer. “Most women don’t have the thigh muscles for that.”
The appeal of this position is that you get natural clitoral stimulation, says Hellyer, so vary your movements to see what works: grinding back and forth or small circular motions. Oh, and give your clitoris some handy action. Or get him to do it.
4. Lock eyes during sex
Maintaining eye contact during sex might feel awkward but it builds intimacy and deeper connection, especially with a long-term partner.
Dr Alex Comfort, author of The Joy of Sex says it not only “fosters a bond pre-sex but also hammers home the intensity during lovemaking”.
Hold eye contact during orgasm to help it last, adds Hellyer. “When you’re in a highly aroused state, the power of your connection [through eye contact] helps you stay there for quite a long time.”