As one user shared, “My classmate’s mother was a maternity nurse, and she once had a couple who wanted to name their son ‘Collin,’ but wanted to give him a unique spelling. So they chose to spell it C-O-L-O-N. They tried to name their son Colon - as in, the organ attached to your anus.”
Wow. It gets better though.
WeaselBit commented, “My boss’s friend named their kid ‘Monster Galileo.’ The nurse tried to talk them out of it, but they insisted. The kid goes by ‘Galileo.’ Honestly I kind of like the sound of it for an adult or a performer’s name, but being a kid named ‘Monster’ has to be rough in school.”
Another wrote, “I have a false leg, and the midwife had to talk my parents out of naming me ‘Peggy.’”
Bigpsych5150 wrote in with this gem: “As a med student, I had a patient who wanted to name her child ‘Mudpiles.’ The nurses silently protested and waited a few days. Mum eventually changed her mind.”
Another commented, “My ex-husband didn’t think it was fair that girls could be named ‘Grace’ or ‘Hope,’ and he seriously suggested ‘Pestilence,’ ‘War,’ or ‘Plague.’ And his choice for a girl was ‘Tangerine.’ Fortunately, we never had any children.”
Another reddit user said: “I tried to tell someone not to name their kid ‘Tarmac’. They’d recently learned the word from NASCAR.”
Our favourite? “I had a coworker named Trina, and when she was pregnant, she told me that she and her husband decided to name their baby ‘Latrine’. I had to explain to her that she was naming her poor baby after the hole in the ground that soldiers shit into! She was horrified, and changed it to ‘Katrina’. Then, two days after the kid was born, Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans.”