For many of us, female ejaculation is the number one urban legend of sexual experiences. We've all heard the stories about that friend of a friend who goes off like a sprinkler system. So what's a girl gotta do to get in on the action?
Although the exact play-by-play of squirting is still being decoded by experts, here's what we know(ish) so far about this hotly debated, highly sought after, extremely happy ending.
1. It's Caused By G-Spot Stimulation
Many believe that squirting happens when your G-spot is stimulated, says Dr Sherry Ross, M.D. "When sexually aroused, the G-spot fills with blood and appears to be swollen," she explains. "Some women can have an orgasm if the G-spot is properly stimulated, and for some, this can trigger female ejaculation."
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2. It's NOT Pee
You can exhale. "To the best of our understanding, women have an area equivalent to the prostate gland," says Dr Carolyn DeLucia. "This area allows women to release fluids during orgasm." The fluid is thought to be secreted by the skene glands, which sit on either side of the urethra, not by the bladder. Though it's perfectly normal for a teensy bit of diluted pee to sneak out, too.
3. But It Feels Like You Might Pee
When your S.O. (or vibe) hits that sweet spot and you're about to ejaculate, you'll typically feel the same sense of urgency that strikes when your bladder's full, says Dr Sara Twogood. You might even find yourself pausing mid-romp to run to the bathroom—when in fact, you were about to squirt. (Cue sad trombone.)
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4. Word Is You Can Learn to Squirt
For some women, ejaculating can be a learned experience—alone, or with a partner. First off, hit the bathroom so your bladder doesn't kill your buzz. "You want to hit your G-spot, which is the area about two knuckles in, on the front wall of the vagina," says sex educator Zhana Vrangalova. Instead of a gentle massage like you'd give your clitoris, stimulating the G-spot typically involves hard and vigorous thrusting. (Grrr, baby.) "One thing women can do to increase their odds of success is to relax, and when they feel that sensation as if they have to pee, to not stop it but let it go—it's not pee, it's squirt," she says. There you have it.
5. But Don't Feel Bad if You Can't
Unfortunately, some women might not be able to do it, no matter how many times they try. But that doesn't mean your vagina is defective. "Not all women sexually respond to G-spot stimulation," says Ross. "So don't worry if you've tried and failed to find that sweet spot. There's no magic button!"
6. And Don't Be Embarrassed if You Do
On the flip side, some women might squirt all the freaking time. Don't ever be embarrassed! "For most men, it's a big boost to their confidence as a lover," says DeLucia. "It makes them feel like they're extra special in the sack." Plus, they do it all the time. If it's the mess you can't stand, simply bust out a towel when you know you're about to get busy—and enjoy!